Figuring Out the Puzzle

Key words appearing in my Swagbucks search engine recently:

homeschooling an autistic child

how to make a weighted vest for autism

spiderman toys for gift ideas

how to help your autistic child adjust to new baby

My not-so-little Beast has been on my mind a lot lately, probably because he has evaluations later this week and because my little man is turning five in a month! It can be so overwhelming, treading the territory of "autism spectrum" and relearning everything you thought you should do as a parent.

I am so thankful I serve a God that is never overwhelmed and can guide us through this new stage in our lives. Psalm 32:8 is testament to that: "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye."

Smile for the Camera

Ever since we brought Little Sprout home from the hospital, the struggles with the Beast have significantly increased. More meltdowns, more "off" days, and an increased sensitivity to everything have become a part of our daily routine. In addition to dealing with all of that, I now have a baby that is waking several times a night as well as an almost-five-year-old that is not sleeping well at night. In fact, some nights the kid does not sleep ALL. NIGHT. LONG. And let me tell you, an autistic kid that hasn't slept all night plus a mom who therefore has also not slept all night is not a good combination.

It is certainly stressful and hard as we try to help the Beast navigate this new part of life. It always helps to have a sense of humor along the way. A few weeks ago, our Beast was having one of his sleepless nights. The Nerd and I were trying to tune out his noisy chatter over the monitor so that at least one of us could sleep. Suddenly our bedroom door flew open, and there stood the Beast in full Spiderman attire holding his biggest Nerf gun:

In a deep voice, he commanded: "Smile for the camera!" After recovering from the near-heart-attack I had when the door opened so suddenly, I just started laughing. Laughing until tears came and the Nerd joined in.

Yes, I was extremely tired the next day. I had so much to do and so little energy for it. But somehow, the whole day seemed better after our encounter with Spiderman the night before.

P.S. It looks like I need to start shopping for a bigger Spiderman costume!

Hair's the Scoop

It was the week before Christmas. I was making a list of things to be done before the holiday, trying to make the house presentable, and figuring out how to feed a newborn a bazillion times and still keep to a normal schedule. I glanced over at the Beast and added another thing to my list - cut that boy's hair! He (and the Spud) were getting dangerously close to mullet territory, and while I may allow my children to run around sporting Spiderman costumes and gaudy tie-dyed T-shirts that don't match anything, I draw the line at redneck hair. :)

I dreaded actually completing that item on my list. The Beast is terrified of getting his hair cut, and every time I do it, I pray that the neighbors don't call CPS on us. He panics, screams hysterically, and I usually end up cutting it as fast as I can. (which has basically meant a buzz-cut every time). I promise his favorite TV show, ice cream, candy, a combination of all three - but it doesn't lessen his fear. (He has sensory issues related to his autism).

So. To recap, I had just had a baby, Christmas was on the horizon, the lower level of our house had flooded, and my kids were driving me crazy. (Oh, I didn't mention all that?) The impending haircuts were sure to add a lot of stress to that dynamic. Then dear Nerd suggested that we take all three kids to this hip little kid salon, Little Clippers, and pay whatever astronomical fees the kiddie stylists demanded. I was dubious as to whether some stranger would be able to handle the Beast and his haircut meltdowns, but hey, I was more than willing to let her try!

When we first walked into Little Clippers, we were greeted with an assortment of video game systems, motorized kiddie cars, play houses, and lots of toys. Our kids were immediately directed to a folder where they got to "sign out" the DVD they wanted to watch while their hair was being cut. Each of the offspring chose a fun vehicle to sit in, and they happily munched lollipops while staring at the TV. Well, all except the Beast, of course. However, he was not screaming or panicking - he was just very anxious and tense. The stylist assured me that she worked with kids like him all the time and would spend as much time as needed with him to get a good haircut. She was amazing - not only did she produce a nice layered haircut, but she also managed to convince the Beast to let her use scissors (something he would never let me do!) The Drama Queen also got to choose glitter and little clips for her new bob. It was such a stress-free experience that the Nerd happily shelled out the $16 per kid (I know, crazy right?!)

No, this is not an advertisement for Little Clippers - although if you have one in your area, as a mom friend, I would definitely recommend it. Nope, I was just thrilled to have someone else be able to work with my autistic boy and do so well at it.

That, and I was just a bit jealous that my salon didn't offer all those amenities. Maybe, if I were sitting in a sparkly pink car, eating my favorite candy and watching some reality TV, I wouldn't feel so awkward and obligated to make polite conversation with my stylist.

Just sayin'.

What Do Water Striders Eat?

"Mom, what's this?"

"Um, that's a mosquito, baby."

"What do mosquitos eat, Momma?"

"They eat blood."

"Yeah, they suck your blood."

"And what's this, Momma?"

"Um, that's a horsefly."

"What do horseflies eat?"

"Garbage and yucky stuff."

"Cool. What's this one's name?"

"That's a praying mantis, baby."

"And what do praying mantises eat?"

"Um. I think they eat other bugs. And sometimes the mommy praying mantis gets cranky with the daddy praying mantis and eats him too."

That's just a small snippet of the daily conversations I have with the Beast. His copy of World's Weirdest Creatures is well-worn, and I have learned far more about bugs and other creepy crawlies than I have ever desired. Due to his autism, the Beast has developed an obsession not necessarily with insects, but in general of "what eats what." I have answered questions about what polar bears eat and what penguins enjoy eating, and I have also frantically googled the answers to such questions as "What do fireflies eat?" and "What do hornets eat?" He will often ask the same question throughout the day if he is fascinated with the answer. I try to change the subject, but he is very persistent. Every week, I peruse the library for other interests that he might enjoy, but for now, the kid is fixated on animal eating habits.

And while I certainly do not claim to be Jeeves, I am becoming quite the expert on the subject. . .

Blended

Although school ended for the Beast on Thursday, it will only be a few short weeks before he goes back for the fall semester. Hopefully things go smoothly on these days that his schedule changes.

On Friday, I got an unexpected call from the Beast's main teacher. He told me that all of the Beast's teachers had been discussing his progress over the past year, and after a lot of talk, they felt that our Davey would be better suited to the blended class come fall. The blended class consists of some kids like Davey and also quite a few "normal" kids. It is run more like a classroom, with just two teachers instead of the several he's used to and with a structured curriculum similar to a kindergarten class instead of the one-on-one help he has been getting.

I am very excited for him - this means that progress is being made! On the other hand, I am a little nervous for him. Being in a blended class means he is going to have to work a lot harder to meet the same goals as his peers. It will challenge him in ways he hasn't been before. And most importantly, it is going to be a big change for him, and the Beast does not always handle change very well.

All the same, we are encouraged at this "promotion" and look forward to our Davey learning and growing even more!

Of Changes and Autism

A few weeks ago the Nerd and I met up with all of the Beast's teachers to discuss his IFSP (Individualized Family Service Plan) for the upcoming year. I came prepared with a whole list of questions and things I felt our Beast needed to work on. Overall, the meeting went very well, especially since his teacher was new and really didn't know a whole lot about our son yet.

One thing that was especially concerning to me as a teacher is the fact that Davey does not have the hand control to make a simple line or circle on a piece of paper. When instructed to do so, he makes barely legible dots randomly on the paper and then gives up. At four years old, he needs to have this very basic skill in order to start learning how to write the various letters of the alphabet. I am hoping that the ideas the teachers came up with will help him gain the control he needs to master these simple skills.

However, near the end of the meeting, I was feeling pretty good about the direction David and his special education would be taking this year. I just had one more question for his teachers. I knew that this special class he currently attends is only for children age five and under, and I wondered what was going to be next for our Davey. Should we be preparing him to try to attend a "normal" kindergarten class, or would there be a special needs kindergarten class available for him if he needed it? When I presented this question, all the teachers looked at me blankly. Well of course he would be headed to a regular kindergarten class, I was told. Why would I think David needed to go to a different class? I was surprised but said simply that I was not sure based on his autism diagnosis of the previous year. At this bit of news, the teachers just stared at me. Get this - not one of his teachers was aware that David had been diagnosed with high-functioning autism! Granted, they had all noticed that he was a little "off" and thought perhaps he had an attention deficit disorder, but none of them had ever been informed that David is indeed autistic. I was shocked - somehow the information had been lost from point A to point B, and while his teachers have accomplished some amazing things with him this year, I wondered what more could have been done had they known the proper diagnosis??

So now we are facing yet another set of evaluations and tests for David within the next few months. I am so glad I asked that question, and yet I am concerned about what is next for us. Lately our sweet Davey has been having a lot of "sad days" - days in which he has meltdown after meltdown and sits and mopes in a corner for hours. These days are usually triggered by some sort of change - new teacher, new Sunday School class, baby coming, etc. Two of his good friends from his class will be moving up to the integrated class this fall, and I wonder how David will handle it.

Still, despite the worry and anxiety for my little guy, I know that a God much more powerful and greater than all of this is "handling it." He gives us so many promises in the book of Psalms:

"Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." (Psalm 27:14) And what about "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye." (Psalm 32:8) We are beyond thankful that our almighty God is traveling this way with us!

The Blue Blob

Since official, professional therapy is not currently an option for the Beast, we have been looking for ways to still continue the therapy at home. Thus, the Body Sox has entered our household - in blue of course. It is helpful in so many ways - developing muscles, working on sensory issues, etc. (you can see all the benefits of the Body Sox here)

It certainly is entertaining!

Dear Therapy

Dear Therapy:

At first I worried about you. I hesitated to be associated with the stigma that your name comes with. Did we really "need" you? Did this mean that the Beast's "problem" was a lot more serious than we thought?

And now we have walked quite the journey with you. Twenty fifty-minute sessions. Twenty Wednesday mornings with twenty co-pays and twenty "Hi my Sally Ann!"s. Twenty times to see progress, over and over again.

Thank you for giving my little guy confidence. He couldn't even stand up straight for more than a few minutes at a time, and now look at him perfectly balanced on the rocking board while getting ready to toss his bean bag.

I never thought I would cry so much, although I've heard therapy does that to you. Every milestone, every tiny step taken in the right direction has filled my eyes with happy tears. A successful slide down the incline, an arduous climb through the hammocks, a joyful exploration in the ball pit, a tedious cutting out of simple shapes, a step into a tub of scary textures and facing the fears - all working to make my Beast a little closer to being "the same" as his peers.

And oh the encouragement from Mrs. Sally Ann! I leave you each Wednesday morning beaming with pride at the praise and kind compliments I have heard about my son. The benefits of therapy for him and for our whole family have been more than I would ever have imagined.

I am sorry to be saying goodbye, sorry that frustrating healthcare policies and insurance qualifications are preventing us from going further. If each session wasn't the cost of a small car payment, perhaps we could continue; but until the insurance company sees it our way, I am afraid that we will not be seeing you for a while.

Thank you for what you have done for my son.

---dedicated to the best, kindest, most brilliant therapist ever - my Sally Ann.

---pictures were taken on my cell phone, hence the lower quality.

Wednesdays

The Beast has a fifty minute therapy session every Wednesday morning with his dear Miss Sally Ann. No one has been more kind, loving, or helpful to Davey than Miss Sally Ann (who sports a British accent, to boot!) Sally Ann has encouraged him, brought him out of his shell, and helped him build his strength in so many areas. I am so grateful to her and thankful for health insurance that makes these rather costly visits possible.

However, those fifty minutes are very draining on my little guy. He is forced to consistently pay attention and make his muscles do things he would rather not do. When he comes out of neurotherapeutics, two things usually happen: he cries hysterically that he is not ready to leave Miss Sally Ann, and he begins a day-long meltdown. His brain simply cannot handle any more stress, and he throws tantrums at the smallest and simplest of things.

Next, he moves into what I call the "check-out" stage. Davey moves into his own little world, a faraway place that is very hard to reach. It is difficult to get him to obey simple instructions and impossible to have any sort of conversation with him. This is a time when he often does inexplicable things, like tearing all of the pages out of his favorite book. He may also sit in a corner and start reciting lines from one of his favorite movies or TV shows.

By evening, he will reach the "ridiculous" stage. My Davey will sit on the floor laughing hysterically at nothing. There have been times when he has lain on the floor in the middle of a store, eyes glassed over as he giggled uncontrollably. Besides the crazy laughter, he also makes strange noises and grunts a lot.

Last night, after our midweek church service, I had to stop at the store for milk and a few other items. David was in "ridiculous" mode by that point, which made us the receiving end of many stares, glares, and rude comments. I kept telling myself that I didn't care what these strangers thought - there was no way they could possibly understand anyway.

And then this morning I read this post. Her simple but compassionate words touched my heart and reminded me of the extraordinary task God gave us when He gave us Davey. Today I am so thankful for God's unconditional love and blessings. It's the same way I love my son. Unconditionally and without reserve. So who really cares what other people think?

Wordless Wednesday - drummer boy

Davey. always marching to the beat of his own drum...

No Matter What

I love our new schedule - it keeps us busy for sure! However, I wondered how Davey would take to it, since he tends to freak out if any little change in his life occurs.

Most of the time, he seems to be handling it pretty well. We have a picture system that helps tremendously. I draw a series of pictures of what we're going to do that day - take the Drama Queen to school, go to the gym, eat lunch, etc. - and he crosses off the pictures as we do each activity.

And then there are the other days - the days when no amount of pictures, cajoling, lecturing, and yes even bribery will get that kid to cooperate. One day earlier this week, he refused to speak to me in English and instead resorted only to gibberish every time I asked him a question or told him to do something. It was probably one of the most frustrating days I have had with him to date. At one point, I went into the bathroom so I could cry and let it out a little. Why? Why does it have to be like this? Does God think I need an extra measure of patience? Why?

Lately I have been hearing a song on the radio that has expressed this question so perfectly - and reminded me that, no matter what, God knows what He is doing and I just need to trust him.

The song is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts, and here's the impactful words:

I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I, I keep asking why, I keep asking why,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what

School Daze

Last night, I uttered words that have never been spoken in this house before - "She needs to get to bed. It's a 'school night.' "

Yes, things have certainly changed around here. It all started on Tuesday morning, when I got up early to get everybody and everything ready for the first day of school.

The Drama Queen was already up, excited and ready to go in her uniform and with her special backpack, packed to the brim with tissues, Clorox wipes, construction paper, and other such preschool necessities. I had my bag packed as well, with my lesson plan book, red pens, paper, and some special treats for my Spanish students. When the boys woke up rather groggily, the Beast pulled out his new Spiderman backpack to be filled with extra clothes and pull-ups for daycare and later his ESD preschool. We managed to remember everything and get out the door in plenty of time to get to school.
The Nerd planned to go into work a little late that morning so he could see our baby girl go to school that first day. After dropping the boys off at daycare (not a happy occasion for the Beast unfortunately), we took the Drama Queen up to her classroom where she willingly posed by her desk in her Dr. Seuss-themed room. That sweet smile and air of self-confidence tugged at my heart a little, but I didn't cry. The Nerd insisted on taking several pictures of the momentous event, including photos of her in front of the fish tank, in front of Mrs. Kaiti's desk, in the process of unloading her backpack, etc. You would think he was the blogger in the family! I gave her a quick hug and told her she was going to be awesome in preschool; then I hurried downstairs to teacher's meeting. After a long but informative assembly, I got to meet the the 7th and 8th grade students that would be in my Spanish class this year. (lots of boys with deep voices that squeak every once in a while and a few girls that are taller than the boys :) ) It felt great to get back into the teaching groove again!

After Spanish class, I picked up the boys from daycare and headed home. I got a few things done around the house and then it was back to school to pick up a very bubbly and talkative Drama Queen from school. She chatted about what she had learned and who had gotten their name on the board (apparently not a good thing) and who was sitting next to her all the way home. We all hurriedly ate lunch and then got back into the van to take Davey to his ESD preschool for the afternoon.
This time, as I pulled into the parking lot of the ESD/Headstart building and signed in to take him to his class, I started to cry. It was very overwhelming to take my barely-three-year-old to a class with a teacher I hardly knew. He looked at me uncertainly from the door, but as soon as Mr. Scott promised he could wash his hands with the bubbly soap, he cheerfully waved and went inside. I didn't want to leave and stood around for a little while, as if there were something else I should do before I go. Mr. Scott gently reminded me that he would see us again at 3:30 pm. I reluctantly took the other kiddies home for the rest of the afternoon.

Promptly at 3:30 I was back at his school, waiting to hear all about his first day. Mr. Scott said he did very well for his first day and only had a little trouble staying focused during circle time. Davey of course said nothing - he never talks about his day. From his preschool, I drove straight to the doctor's office, where the Drama Queen and the Spud had their check-ups and respective shots. Then it was home to finish making dinner and finally take a break from the van!

So, yes, I would say that our daily lives have changed rather dramatically. I am trying to figure out where my Etsy shop projects and blogging will fit in, but I am loving it! This is the part of motherhood I have been waiting for - the busyness, the school projects, and the daily schedule :)

Autism and Grief

After we got the official diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" for Davey from his evaluations, life suddenly got extremely busy. I had a wedding cake to make for a friend. I was behind on custom orders for The Framed Frog and so was working on them every spare minute I had. Both the Beast and the Drama Queen took turns being up all night with a stomach virus. I had to write scripts for the VBS puppets and then perform them every night with my puppeting friends. My sister had her baby. (long phone calls).

Finally, yesterday, the chaos slowed a little. I actually spent my morning in normal activities, like cleaning my kitchen and doing loads of laundry. Despite the Nerd being home from work sick, I managed to straighten up the living room and make the place look somewhat comfortable. After all, we were having company!

At 1:30, there was a knock at the door, and an energetic man named Scott came in, immediately taking off his shoes and bounding up the stairs in search of Davey. Davey, who almost never acknowledges when we have a visitor, especially strangers, ran up to Scott and began shouting random things like "Hey I have a brother" and "I like hot dogs!" Within five minutes, Davey was seated on Scott's lap being tickled while the Drama Queen filed in and out of the room, showing off each of her Toy Story toys to our guest. You would have thought that Davey and Scott had known each other for years!

Scott is going to be Davey's teacher at the Early Intervention Preschool in the fall. For two and a half hours every Tuesday and Thursday, he is going to be working with Davey on specific objectives that we have set for him. I was grateful to see the connection between Davey and his new teacher, and the two of them spent over half an hour just playing and talking and getting to know each other. Then Scott went over some of the specifics with me, drawing some diagrams out on a sheet of paper and talking. He left with a "See you at school, David!" It was a very hopeful and positive experience.

But last night, as the Nerd dozed off on the couch and I tried to get some things done, I found myself in tears. Frustrated that I would be crying over "nothing", I turned on the TV and tried to focus on my to-do list. Before I knew it, I was sobbing - the kind of crying that doesn't allow you to do anything else but cry. The Nerd woke up and asked me what was wrong. I didn't really know. I finally realized that in all the busyness of the past week or so, I hadn't allowed myself or even had time to think about David's diagnosis. The tears came fast and heavy, and strangely I felt embarrassed, as if no one would really understand why I was crying. I didn't really understand why I was crying. David's diagnosis is the best possible diagnosis we could have gotten. Unlike many other children on the autism spectrum, David has a wonderful vocabulary and is very loving. In fact, there are some days when I wonder if we should have even taken him in to get evaluated - he seems so "normal."

But then he has a "bad day" full of melt-downs when he reverts to speaking in gibberish and cries hysterically at the smallest things. He bites his siblings and does things that have no explanation. Those are the days that are painful reminders of why we chose this journey in the first place.

I guess I didn't really understand it when the special education therapist offered us a grief counselor as a resource. Now I know. There is grief for the obstacles and uphill battles ahead of us, and grief for Davey. He has such a promising future, but he will have to work harder at things than most kids. Making friends will never be easy for him.

The tears are still coming this morning, although not nearly as much as they were last night. I know that God is in control and that He has a special plan for my son; but I also know that it's okay to cry and release all those feelings and fears.

Today is going to be a good day. I just got a big smile and hug from Davey, and the Drama Queen has politely asked me to please stop using the computer so we can play. :)

A Diagnosis and Chai Tea Cupcakes

So another intensely busy week has begun. I feel a little overwhelmed with all the appointments and meetings for Davey, and the etsy shop orders keep piling up. I've had so many custom orders with specific deadlines in the past couple of weeks that I've stayed up past midnight every night and risen at 6:00 am just trying to keep up.
As many of you have been probably been wondering, we did receive an "official" diagnosis for Davey last week. After his long morning appointment with a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, child psychiatrist, and pediatrician, Davey has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I have in hand an Autism Speaks 100 Day Kit that is helping us understand a little more of what the future is going to be like with this diagnosis. We still have a lot to learn, and tomorrow we will be discussing specific therapy options and preschool possibilities with the special education therapists. I am still processing the diagnosis - amazed that God found us worthy to undertake such a task and terrified of the responsibility and life changes.

I'll keep you all updated on our little man as we continue through this process. Davey did amazingly well throughout the long process and especially enjoyed the physical therapy room with its balance beams and bouncy balls. The therapist discovered that Davey has very little core strength, causing sitting up and climbing up into his car seat to be an exhausting task. This is why he has such poor balance and has difficulty doing simple tasks, like walking backwards or jumping off a step.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share a recipe I discovered recently when I was getting ready for a premiere jewelry party. I made these chai tea latte cupcakes - divine! and so here is the recipe:
Vanilla Chai Tea Latte Cupcakes
Ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar
2 oz butter, softened
1/2 cup milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
dash of salt
1 or 2 chai tea bags
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place liners into cupcake pan.(recipe make about twelve)
Heat up milk on stove, remove from stove. Place tea bags into milk, cover and steep for 5-10 minutes.
Cream sugar and butter together. Mix in egg and vanilla. Mix in milk.
Sift flour, baking powder, spices and salt together. Mix dry and wet ingredients together.
Divide batter into cupcake liners. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until a tester inserted comes out clean.
Allow to cool before frosting with your favorite buttercream frosting. Sprinkle with cinnamon. :)

Yummo! Happy Monday all!

Giveaway! woot! woot!

Exciting news folks! My All Around the Mulberry Bush Wall Initial is being featured at 3 Garnets and 2 Sapphires! After you read all the extremely nice things Karen writes about my work (I am humbled and overwhelmed), you can enter a giveaway to win your own wall initial. If you are not in love with the Mulberry Bush design or have something different in mind, never fear! The winner will be able to choose whatever design they want for their wall initial.

This is an especially fun giveaway for The Framed Frog to participate in. Just a year and a half ago, I opened my Etsy shop with great misgivings and no sales for weeks. Karen kindly offered to host a giveaway on her site, and that giveaway, along with some other factors, helped launch my shop and get the sales going. Karen does a lot of great giveaways and is very candid and thorough in her reviews. Go check her site out!

A couple of other notes: We will be headed out to Davey's appointment with the special education folks soon, and I will update you later on that. Also, please don't forget this week's Found It Friday theme: sand and surf. The Found It Friday posts take a little time to put together, so start gathering your ideas and photos now. Mr. Linky was looking a little lonely last week. :(

Special Times

I am sitting at the kitchen table with all three kids clamoring for my attention. The Drama Queen wants me to confirm that tomorrow is indeed her half-birthday; the Spud is anxious to get down from his high chair. The Beast is demanding that I look at a picture on the wall, and if past behavior is any indication, he will insist that I look at the same picture several more times today.

Although I am subconsciously answering these questions and releasing the Spud from his chair, my real attention is focused on a stack of papers in front of me. Each sheet has the logo ESD emblazoned across the letterhead, and I am trying to find all the "sign here"s and "date here"s. Somehow, seeing all the paperwork that will potentially put our son in special education suddenly makes the whole situation much more real. On one hand, I am excited - eager to get some more answers and to get our Davey the help he needs to function socially.

On the other hand, however, I am also preparing for a very different meeting tonight. Tonight the Nerd and I meet up with the Drama Queen's preschool teacher and discuss "normal" things like where to purchase her uniform, what fun things she is going to get to do in class this year, etc. Tomorrow is the meeting with all the ESD folks, where the discussion will not be so "normal." Tomorrow, they will be deciding whether or not Davey is a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool. Again, I am happy and hoping so much that he will get this help; but it saddens me a little as well. As a mom, I never expected to hear "ESD" or "special education" used to refer to my child.

Strangely enough, it is not really a negative feeling. I feel blessed that God has entrusted us with the task of raising this special child. He must see something in me that I don't - not yet, anyway!

On Thursday, we will be gearing ourselves up for a very busy morning. The Nerd has taken the time off work, and together we and Davey will be meeting with several specialists throughout the morning. These meetings will result in the official diagnosis -Aspergers or otherwise.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind comments, dear readers. And local friends, I cannot thank you enough for the many spur-of-the-moment baby-sittings and advice and hugs. :)

God is faithful, and He knows.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when i was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in they book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:14-17

Update on Davey

Many of you have been asking if we have gotten any answers regarding our concerns with Davey yet. (initial post on these concerns here). I figured it was time for a Davey Update.

So far we have had an in-home observation session, in which a special education therapist came to our house and observed Davey in his "natural environment" while asking me a lot of questions. Surprisingly, Davey did really well with the therapist, giving her more eye contact than usual and even answering some of her questions. She did have an opportunity to see his unusual running habits and flapping of his hands. After assessing her observations and my answers to her questions, the therapist told me that he is definitely a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool(EIP). She felt that if he got into EIP now, he may get the preparation he needs to go to a regular school by kindergarten age.

Before he can start attending EIP, we have a barrage of appointments to attend in the upcoming weeks. Tomorrow he meets with the orthopedic specialist, where he will be examined to see if there are any physical reasons why he always runs on his tiptoes.
In July, we have a five-hour-long meeting with several specialists - an occupational therapist, a child psychiatrist, an educational consultant, etc. Then we will be meeting with the EIP folks for another lengthy appointment. Once we get an official diagnosis, we will be able to get him into EIP and also start getting some education for ourselves to help us learn better techniques for dealing with our Davey.

All in all, I am encouraged so far. The pediatrician had us start giving Davey melatonin at night to help him sleep better. He used to be up until midnight or later every night, and I figured he was just a night owl that liked to stay up late. Of course, dealing with him the next morning was no picnic! Melatonin has worked wonders for him! He usually falls asleep now within thirty minutes of taking the natural supplement and sleeps steadily through the night. It has greatly improved his overall behavior because he is finally getting the rest he needs.

And, we are on the path to finding more answers and helping our sweet Davey. It is looking more and more like Aspergers, but we'll see. We are trusting God that His plan is greater than ours and that whatever the outcome, Davey will be used in a special way for Him. :)

Thank you all for your prayers and supportive comments - it means so much to me. :)

Change It is A'comin'

Posting has been a little sparse these days. I am not sure exactly why - there are dozens of posts written in my head - but somehow they never seem to make it to the blog.

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about my blog and am making some major changes to it. As you may have noticed, I have changed the look of my blog first. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind; so the look of my blog could change again. :)

I am no longer posting to my crafty blog The Scrappy Frog. All the tutorials there will still be available for your crafting bliss, but from now on, if I have a craft or home decor tutorial to share, it will be here on Temporary Insanity. I hope to have something crafty or artfully delicious at least once a week.

Of course, there will still be the posts about my crazy family and their daily antics. I have enough fodder from the past weekend to write several posts! I also will be focusing some posts on our journey with Davey's testing and Aspergers and Early Intervention preschool.

I am even thinking of starting my own meme! Ha, we'll see what comes to fruition, but at any rate, there are many changes coming to Temporary Insanity. Let me know what you think of the general look (so far, it's still in progress).

As for the name, it's not going anywhere. Temporary Insanity is still my plea - perhaps even more so these days...

Help for Davey

I have a wonderful son.

He is sweet, sensitive, funny, handsome, smart, and loving. You all know him as "The Beast", but to me, he is my Davey.

Over the past year, I have noticed little quirks in the way my little man spends his days. Every day, around 11:00 am, he runs back and forth from the front door to the back door for thirty minutes straight. It is impossible to get his attention during this time. In an overwhelming social situation, Davey will start babbling unintelligibly and stuttering. He also flaps his arms whenever he gets excited or nervous. He is obsessed with our vacuum cleaner and will sit playing with it for hours.

Lately, however, it has become obvious that these are not just "quirks". Despite having a great vocabulary and good speech patterns, Davey often retreats into his own little world. He rarely makes eye contact and never joins in conversations with the rest of the family. Many times he will ramble on and on in a one-sided conversation with himself. These things especially make it difficult to parent him. I frequently feel like he and I are in two different worlds and we just don't connect. Out in public, it can be quite dangerous as he is blissfully unaware of cars, other people, and even his momma shouting his name.

And thus the debate in my head and heart began. Is this stuff he will just "grow out of", as so many other well-meaning moms stated as they encouraged me to just be patient through this "phase"? Should I seek professional help? Will doing that label my kid unnecessarily?

When my husband started mentioning that he was concerned as well, I felt that at least my suspicions were validated. Together we decided to take our list of concerns to his pediatrician and see if we could get a referral to a specialist.

We met with the pediatrician today. I was so grateful that she listened carefully to everything we had to say and that she didn't laugh off any of my concerns. She felt that the behaviours and symptoms Davey was exhibiting may put him in the "austistic spectrum". More specifically, he may have Aspergers. Thanks to her, we now have a referral to a specialist who can give him a proper diagnosis and get us into the therapy and help we need.

I am relieved to have some direction and some hope in learning how to better help my son. I am also a little sad - every mom wants their kid to be "perfect." But he is - he is perfectly Davey, and we just need to learn how to connect with him and make our days together less frustrating.

It's going to be a long road ahead, no matter the diagnosis. But, "As for God, his way is PERFECT; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him."

And we are trusting.