School Daze

Last night, I uttered words that have never been spoken in this house before - "She needs to get to bed. It's a 'school night.' "

Yes, things have certainly changed around here. It all started on Tuesday morning, when I got up early to get everybody and everything ready for the first day of school.

The Drama Queen was already up, excited and ready to go in her uniform and with her special backpack, packed to the brim with tissues, Clorox wipes, construction paper, and other such preschool necessities. I had my bag packed as well, with my lesson plan book, red pens, paper, and some special treats for my Spanish students. When the boys woke up rather groggily, the Beast pulled out his new Spiderman backpack to be filled with extra clothes and pull-ups for daycare and later his ESD preschool. We managed to remember everything and get out the door in plenty of time to get to school.
The Nerd planned to go into work a little late that morning so he could see our baby girl go to school that first day. After dropping the boys off at daycare (not a happy occasion for the Beast unfortunately), we took the Drama Queen up to her classroom where she willingly posed by her desk in her Dr. Seuss-themed room. That sweet smile and air of self-confidence tugged at my heart a little, but I didn't cry. The Nerd insisted on taking several pictures of the momentous event, including photos of her in front of the fish tank, in front of Mrs. Kaiti's desk, in the process of unloading her backpack, etc. You would think he was the blogger in the family! I gave her a quick hug and told her she was going to be awesome in preschool; then I hurried downstairs to teacher's meeting. After a long but informative assembly, I got to meet the the 7th and 8th grade students that would be in my Spanish class this year. (lots of boys with deep voices that squeak every once in a while and a few girls that are taller than the boys :) ) It felt great to get back into the teaching groove again!

After Spanish class, I picked up the boys from daycare and headed home. I got a few things done around the house and then it was back to school to pick up a very bubbly and talkative Drama Queen from school. She chatted about what she had learned and who had gotten their name on the board (apparently not a good thing) and who was sitting next to her all the way home. We all hurriedly ate lunch and then got back into the van to take Davey to his ESD preschool for the afternoon.
This time, as I pulled into the parking lot of the ESD/Headstart building and signed in to take him to his class, I started to cry. It was very overwhelming to take my barely-three-year-old to a class with a teacher I hardly knew. He looked at me uncertainly from the door, but as soon as Mr. Scott promised he could wash his hands with the bubbly soap, he cheerfully waved and went inside. I didn't want to leave and stood around for a little while, as if there were something else I should do before I go. Mr. Scott gently reminded me that he would see us again at 3:30 pm. I reluctantly took the other kiddies home for the rest of the afternoon.

Promptly at 3:30 I was back at his school, waiting to hear all about his first day. Mr. Scott said he did very well for his first day and only had a little trouble staying focused during circle time. Davey of course said nothing - he never talks about his day. From his preschool, I drove straight to the doctor's office, where the Drama Queen and the Spud had their check-ups and respective shots. Then it was home to finish making dinner and finally take a break from the van!

So, yes, I would say that our daily lives have changed rather dramatically. I am trying to figure out where my Etsy shop projects and blogging will fit in, but I am loving it! This is the part of motherhood I have been waiting for - the busyness, the school projects, and the daily schedule :)

Autism and Grief

After we got the official diagnosis of "high-functioning autism" for Davey from his evaluations, life suddenly got extremely busy. I had a wedding cake to make for a friend. I was behind on custom orders for The Framed Frog and so was working on them every spare minute I had. Both the Beast and the Drama Queen took turns being up all night with a stomach virus. I had to write scripts for the VBS puppets and then perform them every night with my puppeting friends. My sister had her baby. (long phone calls).

Finally, yesterday, the chaos slowed a little. I actually spent my morning in normal activities, like cleaning my kitchen and doing loads of laundry. Despite the Nerd being home from work sick, I managed to straighten up the living room and make the place look somewhat comfortable. After all, we were having company!

At 1:30, there was a knock at the door, and an energetic man named Scott came in, immediately taking off his shoes and bounding up the stairs in search of Davey. Davey, who almost never acknowledges when we have a visitor, especially strangers, ran up to Scott and began shouting random things like "Hey I have a brother" and "I like hot dogs!" Within five minutes, Davey was seated on Scott's lap being tickled while the Drama Queen filed in and out of the room, showing off each of her Toy Story toys to our guest. You would have thought that Davey and Scott had known each other for years!

Scott is going to be Davey's teacher at the Early Intervention Preschool in the fall. For two and a half hours every Tuesday and Thursday, he is going to be working with Davey on specific objectives that we have set for him. I was grateful to see the connection between Davey and his new teacher, and the two of them spent over half an hour just playing and talking and getting to know each other. Then Scott went over some of the specifics with me, drawing some diagrams out on a sheet of paper and talking. He left with a "See you at school, David!" It was a very hopeful and positive experience.

But last night, as the Nerd dozed off on the couch and I tried to get some things done, I found myself in tears. Frustrated that I would be crying over "nothing", I turned on the TV and tried to focus on my to-do list. Before I knew it, I was sobbing - the kind of crying that doesn't allow you to do anything else but cry. The Nerd woke up and asked me what was wrong. I didn't really know. I finally realized that in all the busyness of the past week or so, I hadn't allowed myself or even had time to think about David's diagnosis. The tears came fast and heavy, and strangely I felt embarrassed, as if no one would really understand why I was crying. I didn't really understand why I was crying. David's diagnosis is the best possible diagnosis we could have gotten. Unlike many other children on the autism spectrum, David has a wonderful vocabulary and is very loving. In fact, there are some days when I wonder if we should have even taken him in to get evaluated - he seems so "normal."

But then he has a "bad day" full of melt-downs when he reverts to speaking in gibberish and cries hysterically at the smallest things. He bites his siblings and does things that have no explanation. Those are the days that are painful reminders of why we chose this journey in the first place.

I guess I didn't really understand it when the special education therapist offered us a grief counselor as a resource. Now I know. There is grief for the obstacles and uphill battles ahead of us, and grief for Davey. He has such a promising future, but he will have to work harder at things than most kids. Making friends will never be easy for him.

The tears are still coming this morning, although not nearly as much as they were last night. I know that God is in control and that He has a special plan for my son; but I also know that it's okay to cry and release all those feelings and fears.

Today is going to be a good day. I just got a big smile and hug from Davey, and the Drama Queen has politely asked me to please stop using the computer so we can play. :)

A Diagnosis and Chai Tea Cupcakes

So another intensely busy week has begun. I feel a little overwhelmed with all the appointments and meetings for Davey, and the etsy shop orders keep piling up. I've had so many custom orders with specific deadlines in the past couple of weeks that I've stayed up past midnight every night and risen at 6:00 am just trying to keep up.
As many of you have been probably been wondering, we did receive an "official" diagnosis for Davey last week. After his long morning appointment with a speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, child psychiatrist, and pediatrician, Davey has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. I have in hand an Autism Speaks 100 Day Kit that is helping us understand a little more of what the future is going to be like with this diagnosis. We still have a lot to learn, and tomorrow we will be discussing specific therapy options and preschool possibilities with the special education therapists. I am still processing the diagnosis - amazed that God found us worthy to undertake such a task and terrified of the responsibility and life changes.

I'll keep you all updated on our little man as we continue through this process. Davey did amazingly well throughout the long process and especially enjoyed the physical therapy room with its balance beams and bouncy balls. The therapist discovered that Davey has very little core strength, causing sitting up and climbing up into his car seat to be an exhausting task. This is why he has such poor balance and has difficulty doing simple tasks, like walking backwards or jumping off a step.

Meanwhile, I wanted to share a recipe I discovered recently when I was getting ready for a premiere jewelry party. I made these chai tea latte cupcakes - divine! and so here is the recipe:
Vanilla Chai Tea Latte Cupcakes
Ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar
2 oz butter, softened
1/2 cup milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 egg
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
dash of salt
1 or 2 chai tea bags
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place liners into cupcake pan.(recipe make about twelve)
Heat up milk on stove, remove from stove. Place tea bags into milk, cover and steep for 5-10 minutes.
Cream sugar and butter together. Mix in egg and vanilla. Mix in milk.
Sift flour, baking powder, spices and salt together. Mix dry and wet ingredients together.
Divide batter into cupcake liners. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until a tester inserted comes out clean.
Allow to cool before frosting with your favorite buttercream frosting. Sprinkle with cinnamon. :)

Yummo! Happy Monday all!

Special Times

I am sitting at the kitchen table with all three kids clamoring for my attention. The Drama Queen wants me to confirm that tomorrow is indeed her half-birthday; the Spud is anxious to get down from his high chair. The Beast is demanding that I look at a picture on the wall, and if past behavior is any indication, he will insist that I look at the same picture several more times today.

Although I am subconsciously answering these questions and releasing the Spud from his chair, my real attention is focused on a stack of papers in front of me. Each sheet has the logo ESD emblazoned across the letterhead, and I am trying to find all the "sign here"s and "date here"s. Somehow, seeing all the paperwork that will potentially put our son in special education suddenly makes the whole situation much more real. On one hand, I am excited - eager to get some more answers and to get our Davey the help he needs to function socially.

On the other hand, however, I am also preparing for a very different meeting tonight. Tonight the Nerd and I meet up with the Drama Queen's preschool teacher and discuss "normal" things like where to purchase her uniform, what fun things she is going to get to do in class this year, etc. Tomorrow is the meeting with all the ESD folks, where the discussion will not be so "normal." Tomorrow, they will be deciding whether or not Davey is a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool. Again, I am happy and hoping so much that he will get this help; but it saddens me a little as well. As a mom, I never expected to hear "ESD" or "special education" used to refer to my child.

Strangely enough, it is not really a negative feeling. I feel blessed that God has entrusted us with the task of raising this special child. He must see something in me that I don't - not yet, anyway!

On Thursday, we will be gearing ourselves up for a very busy morning. The Nerd has taken the time off work, and together we and Davey will be meeting with several specialists throughout the morning. These meetings will result in the official diagnosis -Aspergers or otherwise.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind comments, dear readers. And local friends, I cannot thank you enough for the many spur-of-the-moment baby-sittings and advice and hugs. :)

God is faithful, and He knows.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when i was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in they book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:14-17

Update on Davey

Many of you have been asking if we have gotten any answers regarding our concerns with Davey yet. (initial post on these concerns here). I figured it was time for a Davey Update.

So far we have had an in-home observation session, in which a special education therapist came to our house and observed Davey in his "natural environment" while asking me a lot of questions. Surprisingly, Davey did really well with the therapist, giving her more eye contact than usual and even answering some of her questions. She did have an opportunity to see his unusual running habits and flapping of his hands. After assessing her observations and my answers to her questions, the therapist told me that he is definitely a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool(EIP). She felt that if he got into EIP now, he may get the preparation he needs to go to a regular school by kindergarten age.

Before he can start attending EIP, we have a barrage of appointments to attend in the upcoming weeks. Tomorrow he meets with the orthopedic specialist, where he will be examined to see if there are any physical reasons why he always runs on his tiptoes.
In July, we have a five-hour-long meeting with several specialists - an occupational therapist, a child psychiatrist, an educational consultant, etc. Then we will be meeting with the EIP folks for another lengthy appointment. Once we get an official diagnosis, we will be able to get him into EIP and also start getting some education for ourselves to help us learn better techniques for dealing with our Davey.

All in all, I am encouraged so far. The pediatrician had us start giving Davey melatonin at night to help him sleep better. He used to be up until midnight or later every night, and I figured he was just a night owl that liked to stay up late. Of course, dealing with him the next morning was no picnic! Melatonin has worked wonders for him! He usually falls asleep now within thirty minutes of taking the natural supplement and sleeps steadily through the night. It has greatly improved his overall behavior because he is finally getting the rest he needs.

And, we are on the path to finding more answers and helping our sweet Davey. It is looking more and more like Aspergers, but we'll see. We are trusting God that His plan is greater than ours and that whatever the outcome, Davey will be used in a special way for Him. :)

Thank you all for your prayers and supportive comments - it means so much to me. :)