Dear Therapy

Dear Therapy:

At first I worried about you. I hesitated to be associated with the stigma that your name comes with. Did we really "need" you? Did this mean that the Beast's "problem" was a lot more serious than we thought?

And now we have walked quite the journey with you. Twenty fifty-minute sessions. Twenty Wednesday mornings with twenty co-pays and twenty "Hi my Sally Ann!"s. Twenty times to see progress, over and over again.

Thank you for giving my little guy confidence. He couldn't even stand up straight for more than a few minutes at a time, and now look at him perfectly balanced on the rocking board while getting ready to toss his bean bag.

I never thought I would cry so much, although I've heard therapy does that to you. Every milestone, every tiny step taken in the right direction has filled my eyes with happy tears. A successful slide down the incline, an arduous climb through the hammocks, a joyful exploration in the ball pit, a tedious cutting out of simple shapes, a step into a tub of scary textures and facing the fears - all working to make my Beast a little closer to being "the same" as his peers.

And oh the encouragement from Mrs. Sally Ann! I leave you each Wednesday morning beaming with pride at the praise and kind compliments I have heard about my son. The benefits of therapy for him and for our whole family have been more than I would ever have imagined.

I am sorry to be saying goodbye, sorry that frustrating healthcare policies and insurance qualifications are preventing us from going further. If each session wasn't the cost of a small car payment, perhaps we could continue; but until the insurance company sees it our way, I am afraid that we will not be seeing you for a while.

Thank you for what you have done for my son.

---dedicated to the best, kindest, most brilliant therapist ever - my Sally Ann.

---pictures were taken on my cell phone, hence the lower quality.

Bury Me Momma!

Part of the Beast's "treatment" for autism is a 50 minute session with occupational therapist Sally Ann every week. She works with him on physical skills and fine motor skills, as well as coping with change and dealing with sensory issues. The Beast loves his Sally Ann and tries hard to please her. Sometimes, though, he needs a little more motivation to stay focused. This is when Sally Ann pulls out the "big reward" - being buried in the ball pit! Due to his sensory issues, he really enjoys being surrounded by certain things - water, for example - and the balls in the deep ball pit at therapy. If he does well, Sally Ann allows him to go into the pit while we bury him completely under the balls. (Personally I would never enjoy such a thing. The balls are freezing cold, and I hate being completely covered by anything!) This past week, I took a short video so you all can see how much my little man likes this reward! :)

It's the little joys that count!

Special Times

I am sitting at the kitchen table with all three kids clamoring for my attention. The Drama Queen wants me to confirm that tomorrow is indeed her half-birthday; the Spud is anxious to get down from his high chair. The Beast is demanding that I look at a picture on the wall, and if past behavior is any indication, he will insist that I look at the same picture several more times today.

Although I am subconsciously answering these questions and releasing the Spud from his chair, my real attention is focused on a stack of papers in front of me. Each sheet has the logo ESD emblazoned across the letterhead, and I am trying to find all the "sign here"s and "date here"s. Somehow, seeing all the paperwork that will potentially put our son in special education suddenly makes the whole situation much more real. On one hand, I am excited - eager to get some more answers and to get our Davey the help he needs to function socially.

On the other hand, however, I am also preparing for a very different meeting tonight. Tonight the Nerd and I meet up with the Drama Queen's preschool teacher and discuss "normal" things like where to purchase her uniform, what fun things she is going to get to do in class this year, etc. Tomorrow is the meeting with all the ESD folks, where the discussion will not be so "normal." Tomorrow, they will be deciding whether or not Davey is a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool. Again, I am happy and hoping so much that he will get this help; but it saddens me a little as well. As a mom, I never expected to hear "ESD" or "special education" used to refer to my child.

Strangely enough, it is not really a negative feeling. I feel blessed that God has entrusted us with the task of raising this special child. He must see something in me that I don't - not yet, anyway!

On Thursday, we will be gearing ourselves up for a very busy morning. The Nerd has taken the time off work, and together we and Davey will be meeting with several specialists throughout the morning. These meetings will result in the official diagnosis -Aspergers or otherwise.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind comments, dear readers. And local friends, I cannot thank you enough for the many spur-of-the-moment baby-sittings and advice and hugs. :)

God is faithful, and He knows.
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when i was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect, and in they book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:14-17

Update on Davey

Many of you have been asking if we have gotten any answers regarding our concerns with Davey yet. (initial post on these concerns here). I figured it was time for a Davey Update.

So far we have had an in-home observation session, in which a special education therapist came to our house and observed Davey in his "natural environment" while asking me a lot of questions. Surprisingly, Davey did really well with the therapist, giving her more eye contact than usual and even answering some of her questions. She did have an opportunity to see his unusual running habits and flapping of his hands. After assessing her observations and my answers to her questions, the therapist told me that he is definitely a candidate for Early Intervention Preschool(EIP). She felt that if he got into EIP now, he may get the preparation he needs to go to a regular school by kindergarten age.

Before he can start attending EIP, we have a barrage of appointments to attend in the upcoming weeks. Tomorrow he meets with the orthopedic specialist, where he will be examined to see if there are any physical reasons why he always runs on his tiptoes.
In July, we have a five-hour-long meeting with several specialists - an occupational therapist, a child psychiatrist, an educational consultant, etc. Then we will be meeting with the EIP folks for another lengthy appointment. Once we get an official diagnosis, we will be able to get him into EIP and also start getting some education for ourselves to help us learn better techniques for dealing with our Davey.

All in all, I am encouraged so far. The pediatrician had us start giving Davey melatonin at night to help him sleep better. He used to be up until midnight or later every night, and I figured he was just a night owl that liked to stay up late. Of course, dealing with him the next morning was no picnic! Melatonin has worked wonders for him! He usually falls asleep now within thirty minutes of taking the natural supplement and sleeps steadily through the night. It has greatly improved his overall behavior because he is finally getting the rest he needs.

And, we are on the path to finding more answers and helping our sweet Davey. It is looking more and more like Aspergers, but we'll see. We are trusting God that His plan is greater than ours and that whatever the outcome, Davey will be used in a special way for Him. :)

Thank you all for your prayers and supportive comments - it means so much to me. :)