Thursday, May 27, 2010
Help for Davey
I have a wonderful son.
He is sweet, sensitive, funny, handsome, smart, and loving. You all know him as "The Beast", but to me, he is my Davey.
Over the past year, I have noticed little quirks in the way my little man spends his days. Every day, around 11:00 am, he runs back and forth from the front door to the back door for thirty minutes straight. It is impossible to get his attention during this time. In an overwhelming social situation, Davey will start babbling unintelligibly and stuttering. He also flaps his arms whenever he gets excited or nervous. He is obsessed with our vacuum cleaner and will sit playing with it for hours.
Lately, however, it has become obvious that these are not just "quirks". Despite having a great vocabulary and good speech patterns, Davey often retreats into his own little world. He rarely makes eye contact and never joins in conversations with the rest of the family. Many times he will ramble on and on in a one-sided conversation with himself. These things especially make it difficult to parent him. I frequently feel like he and I are in two different worlds and we just don't connect. Out in public, it can be quite dangerous as he is blissfully unaware of cars, other people, and even his momma shouting his name.
And thus the debate in my head and heart began. Is this stuff he will just "grow out of", as so many other well-meaning moms stated as they encouraged me to just be patient through this "phase"? Should I seek professional help? Will doing that label my kid unnecessarily?
When my husband started mentioning that he was concerned as well, I felt that at least my suspicions were validated. Together we decided to take our list of concerns to his pediatrician and see if we could get a referral to a specialist.
We met with the pediatrician today. I was so grateful that she listened carefully to everything we had to say and that she didn't laugh off any of my concerns. She felt that the behaviours and symptoms Davey was exhibiting may put him in the "austistic spectrum". More specifically, he may have Aspergers. Thanks to her, we now have a referral to a specialist who can give him a proper diagnosis and get us into the therapy and help we need.
I am relieved to have some direction and some hope in learning how to better help my son. I am also a little sad - every mom wants their kid to be "perfect." But he is - he is perfectly Davey, and we just need to learn how to connect with him and make our days together less frustrating.
It's going to be a long road ahead, no matter the diagnosis. But, "As for God, his way is PERFECT; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him."
And we are trusting.