Thursday, May 27, 2010

Help for Davey


I have a wonderful son.

He is sweet, sensitive, funny, handsome, smart, and loving. You all know him as "The Beast", but to me, he is my Davey.

Over the past year, I have noticed little quirks in the way my little man spends his days. Every day, around 11:00 am, he runs back and forth from the front door to the back door for thirty minutes straight. It is impossible to get his attention during this time. In an overwhelming social situation, Davey will start babbling unintelligibly and stuttering. He also flaps his arms whenever he gets excited or nervous. He is obsessed with our vacuum cleaner and will sit playing with it for hours.

Lately, however, it has become obvious that these are not just "quirks". Despite having a great vocabulary and good speech patterns, Davey often retreats into his own little world. He rarely makes eye contact and never joins in conversations with the rest of the family. Many times he will ramble on and on in a one-sided conversation with himself. These things especially make it difficult to parent him. I frequently feel like he and I are in two different worlds and we just don't connect. Out in public, it can be quite dangerous as he is blissfully unaware of cars, other people, and even his momma shouting his name.

And thus the debate in my head and heart began. Is this stuff he will just "grow out of", as so many other well-meaning moms stated as they encouraged me to just be patient through this "phase"? Should I seek professional help? Will doing that label my kid unnecessarily?

When my husband started mentioning that he was concerned as well, I felt that at least my suspicions were validated. Together we decided to take our list of concerns to his pediatrician and see if we could get a referral to a specialist.

We met with the pediatrician today. I was so grateful that she listened carefully to everything we had to say and that she didn't laugh off any of my concerns. She felt that the behaviours and symptoms Davey was exhibiting may put him in the "austistic spectrum". More specifically, he may have Aspergers. Thanks to her, we now have a referral to a specialist who can give him a proper diagnosis and get us into the therapy and help we need.

I am relieved to have some direction and some hope in learning how to better help my son. I am also a little sad - every mom wants their kid to be "perfect." But he is - he is perfectly Davey, and we just need to learn how to connect with him and make our days together less frustrating.

It's going to be a long road ahead, no matter the diagnosis. But, "As for God, his way is PERFECT; the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him."

And we are trusting.
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10 comments:

  1. I will be praying for you all!

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  2. Of course he is perfect. David is a child of God. God doesn't make mistakes. ;) *HUGS* I will pray that your family finds the best road for this journey and I'm so happy that you have the start of some answers.

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  3. I'll be praying as well Jeanette. We've been a little ways down that road, just in a different direction. But what a wonderful thing for Davey if he's able to learn how to work with his particular challenges.

    By the way, I get regular updates on Gabby now: she was walking through the hallway, she sang with the PeeWees, ect. Anytime the Princess sees her I evidently need to know. I'm glad they were able to hang out together at the sale.

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  4. I am proud of you for taking him to the pediatrician and getting help. So many parents just refuse to believe their child may need special help. I'm sure God will give you the wisdom and grace to help David. I'll be praying for you.

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  5. Im so glad the pediatrician got on this. After sharing your concerns with me I was pretty convinced that there was indeed a problem but I wasnt sure if my recommendation for seeing the pediatrician was going to produce action on their part! What an answer to prayer! Early intervention is huge for these kids. I've been down the road and Im still on the road but there has been grace for every step. That grace will be there for you too ...every bend...every curve..every struggle... there will be grace for every mile! Hugs and Prayers!

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  6. Anonymous10:53 AM

    Just read your post about Davey.
    He is a special gift from God.
    Whatever his diagnosis, you can be sure God
    will be right there with him and your family
    to see you through this.
    I will keep Davey and your family in prayer
    for wisdom, patience and understanding.
    You are a wonderful Mom and will check on
    your post for updates about Davey and you.

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  7. Glad that you can get some answers to this. I know every Mom including myself wants the best for their kids and you getting some help def. is in Davey's best interest. Praying all the details will work out and that you can find ways to work together through this.

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  8. Glad you found some answers. Keep huggin' and smoochin' your little cutie!

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  9. (smiles)
    thank you all so much for your sweet comments and cyber hugs! :)
    They mean so much to me, and your prayers mean even more.:)

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  10. You have a beautiful boy! I'm sorry for the struggle you're facing right now. It sounds like God gave him a mommy with a big enough heart to tackle this obstacle - and of course a God big enough to carry you all through.

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