Most of the time, he seems to be handling it pretty well. We have a picture system that helps tremendously. I draw a series of pictures of what we're going to do that day - take the Drama Queen to school, go to the gym, eat lunch, etc. - and he crosses off the pictures as we do each activity.
And then there are the other days - the days when no amount of pictures, cajoling, lecturing, and yes even bribery will get that kid to cooperate. One day earlier this week, he refused to speak to me in English and instead resorted only to gibberish every time I asked him a question or told him to do something. It was probably one of the most frustrating days I have had with him to date. At one point, I went into the bathroom so I could cry and let it out a little. Why? Why does it have to be like this? Does God think I need an extra measure of patience? Why?
Lately I have been hearing a song on the radio that has expressed this question so perfectly - and reminded me that, no matter what, God knows what He is doing and I just need to trust him.
The song is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts, and here's the impactful words:
I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I, I keep asking why, I keep asking why,
No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.
When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength,
No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.
When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength,
No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.
Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You
No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what
I am sorry that things have been difficult for you. I will pray that God will ease your burdens. Oh, and thanks for recommending the song. I downloaded it from iTunes just now.
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Your post was encouraging to me today. I often feel the same way about David's food allergies and I have to remind myself that God has made him this way for a specific reason and it may be to bring Him glory. Through it all He is faithful and wants us to rest in His promises. (Sometimes easier said than done) I will be praying for you and your little Davey!!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing such an amazing job, Jeanette. You continue to be in my prayers during this transitional time for David. I hope that every day gets easier & every day you learn more. You are an awesome mom!
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