Just to Clear It Up

I had no idea that my last post would generate so many views and so many responses.  Besides comments, I received many Facebook messages and phone calls.  Some were encouraging and supportive; others expressed their concern for me.  After reading through the comments and listening to my messages, it became clear that I wasn't.  Clear, that is.

So, I will do my best to clarify a few things from my previous post in hopes that it will help you all better understand my position.  I certainly don't need everyone to agree with me, and I welcome those with a differing point of view.  After all, that really is part of the journey.

First of all, we had a lot of reasons for leaving our church, but this spiritual journey was not one of them.  I did not leave because I was tired of following all the rules or doing all the right things.  Our leaving the church made some things very apparent in my life that I had to deal with.  This was not the church's fault - but being there did obscure some of the things I needed to address.  We also did not abandon church.  We are regularly attending another local assembly, getting fed in the Word and enjoying the fellowship.

Secondly, although this is an intensely personal quest on some levels, I did open myself up by posting about it on this blog.  I acknowledge that it may have been hurtful to some people, and for that, I am sorry.  I think it is impossible to leave a church family without hurting others, no matter how good your intentions.  I also want my parents to know that I appreciate my upbringing so much.  I always remember feeling safe, happy, and loved as a child, and I think you both did an exceptional job at the whole parenting thing.  As a parent myself, I now know how difficult it can be to try to "do all the right things" when it comes to rearing your children.  It gives me a greater appreciation and understanding of the struggles you faced.  I know this is a scary thing for you because I may come out of this with different views and standards than you.  Please trust that I am seeking God at every point of this experience and that He will guide me in the right way.

I chose to share about my struggles publicly.  Therefore, I know I am opening myself up to both encouragement and criticism.  Please, feel free to address any questions or concerns in the comments below.   I'll do my best to answer, engage in some thoughtful debate, and address any concerns you may have.

I leave you with this verse. "The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness." (Proverbs 15:14)  

Why?

I am very familiar with the question "Why?"

In case you didn't know, I have four children, ages practically-seven, five, four, and one.  They love to ask that question.

Particularly, the Beast enjoys asking "Why?" as many times as possible throughout the day.  A typical exchange between me and him might go as follows:

"David, get your coat on, please."

"Why do I need to put on a coat?"

"Because, baby, we are going to the store. Now go get it and put it on."

"Why?  Why are we going to the store?"

"Because I need to pick up a few things from the grocery store, that's why."

"But why?  What things do you need from the store, Momma?"

"Just some milk and things like that.  Come on now, get your coat on!"

"Why do I have to wear a coat?"

As you might imagine, it gets a little tiring at times.  No doubt, if you're a parent, you have experienced the same thing. 

 

And now it's my turn to ask why.

No, I don't need to know why I wear a coat to the store in the wintertime.  I figured that one out a long time ago.

This time, I'm asking why do I believe what I believe.

I know, I should have figured that one out a long time ago too.  After all, I grew up in a Christian home where God and His Word were daily talked about.  I went to church all the time - Sunday school, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all those special services in between.  I attended a Christian school.  I went to a Christian college, where not only did we have Sunday school, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening service, and Wednesday evening service, but we also had chapel services every day.  On Saturdays, I ran a Bible club in the neighborhood and told kids about Jesus.  I've been in church my whole life.

When I came to Oregon several years ago, naturally I fell into the pattern of "be at church as much as possible."  I worked with the teenagers for a while.  I visited a bus route.  I worked in the nursery. I taught kids in children's church.  If anyone asked, I could spout off a list of reasons why I dressed the way I did, listened to the music I did, participated in the activities I did, read the Bible like I did, and so on. 

But I didn't believe it.  I was so busy "playing church" that I didn't take the time to examine myself and really own my faith. 

Don't get me wrong.  I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, sent to be born of a virgin, live on earth, suffer death on the cross for all mankind, and then rise in victory from the grave, conquering death and providing a lifeline to anyone who will accept it.

I believe that I am a sinner, doomed to Hell.  I believe that long ago, in my young, earnest faith, when I prayed to God, confessing my sins and asking Him to save me, He did! 

I believe that someday I will get to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.

 

However, I also believe that I was a "Pharisee" of sorts.  I did a lot of "good things" for the sake of looking good and fitting in.  I felt as if I were better than a lot of people because of the dress standards, music standards, and other ridiculous rules I held myself to.  I didn't have a solid Bible verse or vision from God to stand upon in these matters.  Yet, I followed the scores of "do's" and "do not's" imposed by the churches I was in because they gave me security.  As long as I was doing all those things "right," I didn't have to really examine myself.  I could ignore the false motives and self-righteousness that permeated my heart.

 

When we left our IFB church a few months ago, I made the decision to also leave all those rules and works behind.  Doing that forced me to see myself for who I really was, and it left me raw and feeling extremely ashamed and vulnerable.  Praise God He has forgiven me and is healing me daily.

 

And now I realize that besides the most basic tenets of my faith, I don't really know what I believe or why I believe it.  What should church be like?  What version of the Bible is right?  Why does all of this matter anyway?  And so I am searching the answers for myself.  I am not relying on anyone else anymore to tell me how to think, what to wear, or what to do. 

 

It's just God and me on this journey together.  And somehow, I know He doesn't mind me asking all these "why" questions as I seek to make my faith my own. 



On Ambition

Is it too late to write a post about my New Year's resolutions?

Nah.  Taking a quick look over my blog will show you that I'm pretty much late at blogging everything.

I mean, the Truth in the Tinsel series is still dangling out there.

The Theme Thursdays are woefully behind.

I didn't share anything about our Christmas. 

Hmm.  Perhaps I need to have another resolution added to the list...

 

Anyway, here's the list.  Some of them are more like reminders to myself, and of course I well know the dangers of setting myself up with too much to accomplish and not nearly enough time to get it done.  Nevertheless, it's something at least at which to aim.

 

FAMILY

1.  I would like to spend more time with each child individually.  Each one of my offspring are amazing and unique creatures (oh boy are they unique!), and I don't want to miss out on that one-on-one time with them.

2.  Naturally, I want to spend some more time with the Nerd also.  This would not include playing Star Wars on the computer or watching a bland TV show while playing games on our cell phones. (in case he reads this)  I want to set aside specific time every week that we invest in each other.  Hopefully, at least once this year, I will also make plans for us to get away together, just the two of us.

3.  Additionally, the plan is for me to stay more connected with the family that is scattered everywhere.  And I mean, everywhere!  Dear siblings in Florida and Pennsylvania and Ohio and Canada and Indiana, I want to invest in my relationships with each of you.  And all my wonderful nieces and nephews too. 

 

ORGANIZATION

1.  I dream of coming up with a doable, healthy meal plan and actually doing it consistently every month.  I've got a head start on January by having a day planned to cook several freezer meals.

2.  I need to figure out a new housecleaning schedule and chore system for the kids and stick to it.  The old one isn't working anymore.  I will gladly accept any and all ideas in this regard.

3.  I want to change up our homeschooling schedule and breathe a little "new life" in it, if you will.  I want to fully embrace this path we have chosen as a family and take advantage of every learning opportunity we encounter this year.

 

PERSONAL

1.  I desire to discover the Bible in a new way this year.  I've already started with the She Reads Truth program and am absorbing it all.

2.  I need to make some new friends this year!  This is an area in which I am sadly lacking, although I have a few close and therefore super-awesome friends.  I want to be intentional and purposeful about meeting people and building relationships with them.

3.  Since my life is not busy enough, I want to find a hobby or some outside activity to devote time to every week.  It might be a cooking class, a book club, a sport, or anything-just-to-get-me-out-of-the-house-and-be-social-and-away-from-my-kids.  This has not yet been decided.

4.  I have become extremely lazy in the areas of food and fitness in the past few months.  No longer!  I am back on track in both areas and resolve to continue in them throughout the year.  I am using Mark Lauren's book Body by You for my fitness program.  As for nutrition, I am keeping a food journal in which I record calorie intake as well as how much protein, carbs, fiber, and fat I am consuming to help keep it all balanced.  My sweet mother-in-law is helping keep me accountable to this journal.

 

OTHER

1.  I am seriously considering furthering my education.  I have my bachelor's degree in elementary education, but I would like to either get my masters in education or perhaps in special education.  The Nerd and I are discussing ways we can make this happen.

2.  Obviously, some sort of resolution needs to be made about this blog.  I need to stop committing myself to things like Theme Thursdays that consume a lot of time and try to write posts more organically.  In particular, I would like to focus more on this new faith journey I am on as well as our dealings with autism.  We will see how it goes!

 

I am hoping to be "stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord" as I seek to carry these resolutions out this year. (I Corinthians 15:58)

 

Happy 2013!

Truth in the Tinsel: Days Six through Ten

Our Truth in the Tinsel experience continues.  Today's post covers days six through ten.  (Not sure what Truth in the Tinsel is all about?  See my previous post here.)

 December 6th:  Mary Visits Elizabeth
The kids listened with great interest as I read to them how Mary went to visit her cousin Elisabeth. They especially liked the part when little baby John leaped up in his mother's womb at the presence of his Savior.  Since Little Sprout was born just last year, they clearly remember her jumping and kicking in my belly; so they understood and delighted in this account of the baby John's reaction to Mary's pregnancy.
I helped the kids cut out these paper dolls representing the pregnant ladies Mary and Elisabeth, and then the kids set about gloriously splashing them with their watercolors.  A preference for greens, blacks, and browns certainly make their dolls look like they were in the throes of morning sickness. :)

 December 7th:  Mary Sings a Song of Worship
We read the story of Mary visiting Elisabeth again today and focused on the beautiful song of praise that Mary sang to God after Elisabeth spoke words of blessing on her baby.  "My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.  For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden; for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed..."  These are amazing words of peace and joy from a young woman who had to have been nervous and uncertain of her future.
The kids chose various marbles and glued them to an old CD to help remind us of Mary's beautiful song.  Poor Beast stressed about putting his marbles in a perfect circle, which probably got in the way of him really learning from the truth today.  Oh well.

 December 8th:  Jesus is the Rising Sun
We learned that Elisabeth did indeed give birth to a son that they named John.  Zachariah was finally able to speak, and when he did, the words of praise and prophecy just poured forth.  He spoke of how his child would lead the way and direct people to Jesus Christ.  He described Jesus as "the rising sun" that will "shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace." 
So we made bright orange paper suns and glued brilliant little sequins all over them as we talked about our Savior, the rising sun.

 December 9th:  Joseph Was a Righteous Man
I shared with the kids about another man in our story, a man named Joseph.  He was described as a just and righteous man.  When he found out about Mary's pregnancy, he felt the right thing to do woul be to put her away, but privately so she would not be shamed.  The kids and I talked about what a godly man he was - determined to do right.  I asked the kids if they could think of other righteous men in their lives and was pleased to hear them immediately answer with 'Daddy, and Grandpa, and Pop." 
The kids designed their clothespin Josephs similar to the Mary clothespin dolls they had made. 

December 10th:  Joseph Has a Dream
It was very interesting to talk to the kids about dreams today.  Gabi in particular was eager to share some dreams she had had recently.  I explained that back in Bible times, sometimes God spoke to his faithful followers in a dream.  Then we read about Joseph's dream in which the angel of the Lord told him not to be afraid to marry Mary. 
The kids chose fabric out of my stash and put together this little pillows to represent Joseph's dream.  While they worked on their pillows, I reminded them that God always reassures us and makes His presence known when we are doing right.

Truth in the Tinsel: Days One through Five

December brings a host of activities and events to our family.  This year, I am trying to be more purposeful in the things we choose to do this holiday season.  I don't want to do things just for the sake of "doing them."  So when I heard of Truth in the Tinsel, I thought, "That might be just the thing to do with the kids this year."  It would be purposeful - the intent being that the kids (and me!) would have some time together every day to focus on Jesus and the amazing gift that came to us at Christmas.  However, I was hesitant to commit to it.  I didn't want to start something and then get so caught up in all the busyness of life that I never finished it. 

Finally, I decided to purchase the book, and we would just have to see how it would go.

 

What's Truth in the Tinsel?  A mom and teacher at Oh Amanda came up with this program to help her kids understand the true meaning of Christmas.  It's a great way to celebrate Advent.  Each day, you read some Scripture verses to your kids.  Then you talk about what happened in those verses and apply it.  The best part is making an ornament together to represent what you just talked about. 

We have had such a great time doing them so far that I am no longer worried about not finishing it. 

 

So, this post is about the first five days of our Truth in the Tinsel adventures.  I will do five posts in all to share what we have learned together on this journey.

 December 1st:  Jesus is the Light of the World

We read together in Isaiah 9 how the people who were in darkness had seen a great light.  David said, "Mom, I don't like it when it's dark.  That's why I need a night light."  This was a great lead-in to our talk - how the whole world was dark with sin and despair.  It needed a Light desperately, and God planned on sending that Light.  The prophet Isaiah predicted His coming. 

The kids enthusiastically glued their tissue paper to the candle silhouettes while we held a discussion on what things can make our hearts dark. 

 December 2nd:  Jesus is Our King

We read in Isaiah 9 again and focused on verses 6-7.  He is our Prince of Peace!  He will establish His kingdom forever.  "How can He be Prince AND King?" Gabi wondered.  And so the conversation began.  We looked at all the names of Jesus - Wonderful, Counsellor, the mighty God, and so on.  He is the only king that can guarantee true peace.

The kids chose their paint colors and intently decorated their crowns with sparkly sequins.  Mikey said that he wanted to be a king when he grew up. 

 December 3rd:  The Angel Gabriel Visits Zachariah

This day, we went to Luke 1 for our reading.  Gabi helped me read the story of how the priest Zachariah was visited by the angel Gabriel.  We talked about how scary it must have been for Zachariah to have an angel appear to him in the temple.  And even though the angel was bringing good news to him, it was easy to understand why Zachariah didn't believe him. 

The offspring glued macaroni and googly eyes to their yogurt lids and chose different yarn hair styles for their Zachariah ornaments.  Their favorite part was attaching the bubble wrap mouth and then popping it, symbolizing how God struck Zachariah dumb for his unbelief. 

 December 4th: Gabriel is God's Messenger

Today, we followed up yesterday's story of Gabriel and Zachariah with Gabriel's visit to another person, Mary.  Gabriel was God's messenger.  We discussed his name, which means "God is my might."  Gabi has the feminine version of his name; she was excited to learn that her name also means "God is my might."  Gabriel willingly carried God's messages to people, whether it be a priest or a young girl. 

The kids looked through my stash of Christmas cards, and each chose one to fold into Gabriel's robe.  With Momma on glue gun duty, we added ribbons, glittery pipe cleaners, and jingle bells to make our angels. 

December 5th:  Mary Listens to Gabriel

We read yesterday's passage in Luke 1:26-38 again.  This time we focused on Mary.  She was a young girl, obviously troubled when she was approached by the angel.  Still, she listened, and although she had questions, she was willing to do what God wanted her to do.  She offered herself as the Lord's handmaiden.

As the kids carefully glued felt dresses and tiny buttons on their clothespin Marys, we talked about how we could be like Mary.  We could be willing to do what God wants, too.  Mikey said that he would pick up his toys, because that's "what God would want." :)



Pink Piggy Party

Happy happy first birthday to our spunky, adorable, and joyful fourth child!  We love you so much, Hosanna Joy, and it truly was a joy to celebrate this milestone with you on Sunday.

 We had a pink piggy party for Little Sprout.  Everything was in shades of pink, even the birthday girl's special outfit. 

 I made a swirly pink cake topped with a princess piggy bank.  The cake recipe was this vanilla cupcake recipe from Glorious Treats.  I did switch out the vegetable oil for coconut oil and added a few spoonfuls of strawberry preserves for flavor and a little pink color.  The frosting was colored with beet juice (about one teaspoon of beet juice to every eight tablespoons of frosting).  Besides the cake, we served popcorn in a big pink bowl, pigs-in-a-blanket, strawberry angel cookies, and homemade strawberry lemonade. 

 Little Sprout's grandpa made a colorful birthday banner featuring photos of the birthday girl from every month of her life so far.  (The background is a bunch of bananas because "Banana" is Daddy's favorite pet name for her.)

 Besides the banner, the dining room was festooned with pink and white streamers and festive little pigs.  I made the pigs by purchasing a set of five pink fan circle decorations from Party City and then hot gluing pig ears, eyes, and noses to each one. 

 I knew from the moment she was born that Little Sprout would wear a cute tutu for her first birthday.  I followed the directions here on the Ribbon Retreat to make her a cute, very fluffy tutu.  I used bright pink and light pink tulle and accented it with a big pink flower.  For her shirt, I purchased an inexpensive white long-sleeved onesie from Walmart, cut out a "1" from pink polka-dotted fabric, and hand-sewed it to the onesie with pink thread and matching rik-rak.  Her gigantic flowered headband was a gift from a friend. 

 My darling baby girl had a grand time at her party. 

 She dove into her cake with great gusto while our other guests enjoyed the party food and played fun games on the Wii.  She enjoyed her cake so much that Grandma had to give her a quick sink bath before she opened her gifts.  A sleepy baby in cupcake pajamas cuddled with her new "babies" and fell asleep in her momma's arms.  It was the perfect end to a perfect piggy party.



Theme Thursday: Spiders

Well, I definitely have fallen short when it has come to doing my Theme Thursday posts.  We still have been doing our theme days, but I have not had the time or energy to post the photos and links and instructions.  Hopefully I will be able to put up a few of these posts in the next week and catch up.  I've got these themes to cover:  spiders, pumpkins, popcorn, pirates, and Thanksgiving.

 

Here on Temporary Insanity, I will be posting Theme Thursdays each week to share what activities we did and what resources we used on our special day. All of the instructions and links will be right here so please feel free to use them. I am including lots of extra ideas as well - no need to do them all, of course! Keep in mind that my activities are tailored to two kindergarteners and one second-grader; you can adjust them to fit your family.  You can find previous themes here.

 

Today's theme is spiders.

Let's get right into the reading.  For this theme day, we spent a lot of time with our books because my children have an intense interest (and fear of!) in spiders.  Oddly enough, the kids are no longer shrieking in fear at every spider they find in the house, probably because they know a lot more about them.

1.  The Itsy Bitsy Spider by Iza Trapani was our choice to begin the day.  It has lots of extra verses so the kids can explore all the places that the spider went.  The older kids helped make up motions for the new verses, and we got our exercise in.

2.  Spider on the Floor by Raffi and illustrated by True Kelley was another action-packed book.  It featured all the lyrics to Raffi's song "Spider on the Floor" and was great for repetition and finding rhythm in a song. As a bonus, it is extremely silly, and all my kids delighted in the outrageous things the spider caught in its web.

3.  Spiders by Nic Bishop is a book full of beautiful photographs and wonderful information on all types of spiders.  We probably spent a good thirty minutes poring over this book and learning all the interesting spider facts.

4.  Spiders' Secrets by Richard Platt was also a book chock full of incredible spider facts.

5.  Freaky Facts about Spiders by Christine Morley was yet another book that taught us new things about spiders.  I let the kids explore this book on their own while they ate their snack. 

 

Some other books that would be fantastic for a spider-themed day would be:

6.  Anansi the Spider: A Tale from the Ashanti by Gerald McDermott

7.  The Very Busy Spider by Eric Carle

8.  Ice Cream and Spiders: A Story about Learning Two Times Tables by Professor Paradox





Kitchen Activity:  My original idea was to make these spiderweb brownies with the kids.  We made them the night before because whole wheat brownies are better if they sit overnight.  They were pretty time-intensive so I'm not sure I would recommend them as a theme day activity.  Though, the recipe did give the kids plenty of practice in reading, measuring, and other kitchen skills.  Here's the link to the whole wheat brownie recipe and a link to the method for making the spiderweb on the brownies. 

 The brownies were a bit rich for snack time; so I had the kids help me make these cute little spiders instead.  They are made from round crackers (we like the ones from Trader Joe's), peanut butter, chocolate chips, and small pieces of apple.  You might also want to try making Oreo Cookie spiders following the instructions here.

For our craft, we made these adorable pool noodle spiders.  Earlier in the week, I had used a serrated knife to cut three pool noodles into rings.  I gave them to the kids with long pieces of ribbons so they could string gigantic necklaces and work on their fine motor skills. 

To make the pool noodle spider, you need just one of the pool noodle slices, pipe cleaners or bendaroos, wiggly eyes, and craft glue.  Cut the pipe cleaners into 5 inch pieces.  Loop one through the center hole of the pool noodle piece and twist to secure.  Once your child sees how to do that, let them do the remaining seven legs.  My four-year-old needed additional help with this step.  Then let them choose a set of wiggly eyes and glue them to their spiders.  We actually made these before we did the Itsy Bitsy spider book so we could use our spiders while doing the motions.

Next, I made this worksheet for the kids to practice a variety of skills.  They colored the SPIDER letters and the spider.  All three kids chose to put the red hourglass symbol on the spider to make it a black widow spider.  They learned how to skip-count by eights, and they worked on the phonics sound of "sp in spider".  Finally, they practiced reading all of the spider words that they learned from the various spider books we read.  You can click on the image above and save it to your computer to print out for your own use.

The last thing we did on Spider Day was go exploring.  Since we live in the rainy Northwest, we have lots of garden spiders and house spiders, especially this time of the year.  We had one particular garden spider that had spun a web right outside our kitchen window and had just caught a moth.  The kids got to watch the spider spin its silk around the moth and start liquefying it with its digestive juices.  It sounds gross, but I couldn't have set up a better learning experience if I had tried.

Next Theme Thursday post will be on pumpkins. 

Thankful

Thankful.

 

I certainly have much for which to be thankful.

 

Four amazing children with tender hearts and energetic spirits.

 

A strong, growing marriage with a creative, passionate man that loves and follows God.

 

Most importantly, God who leads us into all sorts of unfamiliar territory and gives us the strength and courage to follow Him.

 

And so we celebrated Thanksgiving with gusto.  With pumpkin cheese pie, savory turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet yams, cornbread stuffing, and mashed potatoes.  With family game time and long conversations.

 

Thanksgiving activities haven't been the only things keeping us busy in my absence from this blog.

 

We have been homeschooling a lot and making great progress in the Beast's reading skills.

 

We have been planning up a storm for Christmas and getting all the gift shopping done.

 

We have officially left our church home of eight years and have been visiting other churches to see where God wants us to serve.

 

The Nerd has been fervently looking for a new job and has been up late every night, studying and practicing for long interviews and steeling himself against the disappointment of rejection.

 

And we have much to look forward to in the next month.

 

We get to spend the weekend with our close friends at the coast, children playing and adults enjoying meaningful conversations and time away from life's pressures.

 

Baby Girl is turning one year old; so of course we will be celebrating with much joy at a very pink party.

 

The kids and I will be making ornaments and focusing our attentions on the One we really celebrate at Christmas time by doing our Truth in the Tinsel activities along with our advent calendar.

 

We will be celebrating Christmas!  Enough said.

 

We will hopefully soon be settled in a new church home.

 

God is so good.  He is so faithful.

 

And we are thankful.

Eleven Months

Holy cow!  My baby girl is getting so close to turning one year old! 

 Of course, she tries to act like a one-year-old already.  Little Sprout is quite the skilled walker by now and is trying her hand (or feet, rather) at running.  She talks constantly - most of it still pretty unintelligible to the average adult, but the siblings seem to know what she's saying all the time.  She demands food constantly, with her current favorites being baked spaghetti, bacon, and pancakes. 

The girl has a crazy amount of energy!  She has a new-found fascination with balls and will pick them up, throw them, and then go pick them up again for hours.  I confess I do allow the other children to play "fetch" with her occasionally.  Hey, it wears her and the kids out too, and then the kids stop begging for a dog.  For at least a day, anyway. 

Little Sprout's middle name is Joy, and she truly is the joy of my life.  It's hard to be down when she is around!

 

 

Next time we'll be wishing you a sweet first birthday, baby girl!  

Life Will Never Be Normal Again

There are some rare days that I forget that I have a child with autism.  Things go well; communication with my little man is clear, and life is "normal."  On those days, my stress level goes way down; and I even catch myself occasionally fantasizing that this could be the norm for us.  Maybe he could "improve" this much on a daily basis, making life easier both physically and emotionally for us all.

Most days, there are constant reminders of the differences between the Beast and his siblings.  I may instruct the children to pick up their toys off the living room floor and put them away.  My 6-year-old and 4-year-old can do this with little reminder or trouble; but with the Beast (he's five), I must constantly remind him of the task at hand.  As in, "Davey, please pick up the toys.  Here, pick up this blue car.  Look at my face, baby, so I know you're paying attention.  What are we doing again?  No, you may not put your Spiderman costume on right now.  Focus, David.  Pick up the blue car.  Good job!  No, no, no, don't put it back on the floor!  Pick it up and put it in the toy box.  Baby, do you hear me?  You need to pick up that blue car and put it away.  Okay, fine, grab the red car.  But put it in the toy box. "  This ordeal can last forever, or at least until the Drama Queen gets tired of it and does the majority of the clean-up herself.  And then there are the changes in schedule that throw him off and require detailed explanations that never seem to be enough.  And don't even get me started on the emotional outbursts...

And every once in a while, we have a day in which I am reminded all too well of this world of autism and the inability to escape from it.  Sunday was one such day.  He woke up giggling and talking to himself, which I will admit is very cute but not at all conducive to eating breakfast and getting ready for church.  By church time, he had started sinking further and further into his own little world, making communication very difficult.  The day continued with all kinds of fun activities, including spinning on the floor, kicking me repeatedly, talking very loudly off-topic, and torrents of tears at the most inane things.  At the church's Thanksgiving fellowship dinner that evening, he was so overstimulated and who-knows-what-else that I had to physically restrain him at the table.  I have bruises on my legs from his kicking and stimming.  By bedtime, he and I were both exhausted.  I made sure to follow through on a normal bedtime routine, but the boy was too wound up to sleep.  He kept getting up out of bed and walking around the house, muttering to himself.  A few times, he came to me and began talking to me earnestly.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  He finally fell asleep sometime after midnight. 

It's on this kind of day that I worry.  I think that it seems so much worse than when he was first diagnosed.  Is it possible that he is regressing, I wonder?  I think then that perhaps we are not doing enough for him.  Maybe we need to pursue therapy again.  Maybe there are more things we should be doing with him.  Maybe I am not structured enough for him.  Maybe I need to orchestrate more social activities for him. 

Maybe, just maybe, I worry too much.  But it's hard sometimes - I get choked up just thinking about some of the challenges he will face as he gets older.  The stimming and the emotional outbursts were not as noticeable when he was three - in fact, he mostly blended in with all the other three-year-olds that were still figuring out what was socially acceptable behavior.  Now, at age five, we get more than just raised eyebrows at the "tantrums" and repetitive, loud talking.  A few weeks ago, one of his peers came up to me and asked me why he was being so weird.  What will it be like for him in a few more years?

It's hard not to dwell on these things sometimes, especially after a day like that.  Those are the nights I cling to the comforting words in Matthew 6.  Taking my thoughts off tomorrow and focusing on seeking after Him always boost my spirits and my optimism for the future.

And today?  I was folding some laundry when suddenly the Beast was standing next to me.  He reached out and hugged me tightly.  "Hugs mean 'I love you'," he told me importantly.  I squeezed him close, blinking back tears. "I love you too, buddy."

Paper Bag Pinata Tutorial

I just posted about our healthy Halloween party.  For one of the party games, I made a ghost pinata using a paper bag, a little white paint, tissue paper, and glue.  It's incredibly easy but a little time-consuming.  I would recommend cueing up some Downton Abbey or other such entertainment while you work.  Here's how to make your own paper bag pinata - you can use this tutorial to make whatever themed pinata you want. 

 Isn't it cute and fluffy?  It was a shame that little Casper here had to be destroyed during the party.  Anyway, to make your own paper bag pinata, you'll need: a sturdy paper bag (bonus points if it has its own handles!), tape or a stapler, acrylic paint in the color of your pinata, tissue paper, and Elmers' glue.

 First, stuff your paper bag with a few plastic grocery bags or crumpled newspaper pages.  Then put the goodies in - trinkets, candy, pencils, whatever - and top them off with more crumpled newspaper or plastic bags until the bag is full.  Staple the top of the bag shut (or, if you're like me, lose your stapler and spend too much time looking for it before you finally give up and just tape the top closed.)  If your bag does not have handles, staple some sturdy string or ribbon to the top to use as a hanger later on. 

 Next, cut your tissue paper into squares.  I folded my sheets of tissue paper up until I had a 2" by 2" square.  Then I was able to cut several squares at one time.  You can use bigger or smaller squares too, depending on your preference.  I got my tissue paper (white with glitter) at the dollar store.  One pack of tissue paper was more than enough for this project. 

 Meanwhile, or perhaps you should do this before you cut the tissue paper squares so the paint can dry, slap some paint on the paper bag.  Cover all sides with paint, but don't worry about the paint completely covering everything.  It's just there in case the tissue paper puffs are not thick enough.

 Now comes the fun part.  Take the four corners of a tissue paper square in your thumb and pointer finger.  Put a small dot of glue in the center of the square and attach it to your paper bag so that the four corners poke out in a ruffled shape.  Do another tissue square in the same manner close to the first one.  I used a chopstick to press in the center of each tissue paper square to keep my fingers from getting sticky and to position the squares better.  Continue filling in the area all around where you started.  I started at the top corner of my bag and went acroos.

 Well, if you stopped right here and painted the rest of the bag pink or zebra-striped, you have a very cute purse pinata. :)  For any other theme, continue poking and positioning your tissue paper squares until the front and the back of the bag is covered. 

 For the sides of the bag, scrunch up some tissue paper and glue in place in the indentations to make a level surface.  Then cover both sides with more squares of tissue paper. 

 Then, decorate your pinata!  Since I was making a ghost, I glued strips of tissue paper to the bottom of the paper bag. 

And of course, I glued on a very adorable face to make my cute ghost complete. 

 

You simply cannot get a cheaper pinata - the tissue paper was $1.00, the paper bag was free, and I already had glue and white paint lying around the house.  The biggest cost is buying the treats that go in it!

Happy Healthy Halloween

Last spring, we realized that the Beast was greatly affected by artificial food dyes and flavors.  We immediately removed them from our diet and changed our eating habits for the better.  Around that time, a good friend was trying to figure out her kids' food sensitivities, and she removed gluten, soy, and dairy from their diets.  Both of us saw such positive results that we knew these would be life changes for us.

Then came the season of let's-knock-doors-and-get-a-truckload-of-candy.  Our kids loved this time of year.  It meant pumpkin patch visits, pumpkin carving, and a visit to the local fall festival to obtain as much candy as possible.  With our not-so-new diets firmly in place, a fall festival seemed like a bad idea.

We decided to hold a small party in which our kids would dress up in their favorite costumes, play some fun games, and enjoy treats that were dye-free, gluten-free, soy-free, and cassein-free.  Yikes!  This was no small task.

 My friend hosted the party at her home.  Thankfully, amidst an October of heavy, cold rain, God saw fit to give us a few hours of sunshine for our party.  The kids had a balloon fight and played Red Rover outdoors.

 We played as many super-active games as we could to get that boundless energy out.

 

 My friend even had a fun bean-bag game and a tiger-hunting game for them to try out their skills.

 Treat time was successful!  We had these adorable tissue-paper covered juice boxes for the kids and all-natural root beer for the grown-ups.  My friend decorated mini-containers of oranges to look like jack'o'lantern faces.  Everyone snacked on veggie and fruit trays as well as little taquitos and yummy chicken meatballs.  Desserts included gluten-free brownies, gluten-free cookies, and homemade marshmallows.

 The final event of the party was the pinata.  I made a cute ghost pinata using a paper bag (will post tutorial later) and the kids had a great time taking turns trying to smash it.  Once broken, the kids quickly scattered to pick up the little Halloween trinkets, pencils, and all-natural lollipops.

We had a great time.  The kids got to wear their costumes.  They got their candy and sweet fix.  They were able to be at a party where all the food and treats were safe for them. 

 

I think this is going to be a yearly tradition!

Ten Months

 I love this face!  I love this girl!  Her enthusiasm, her sense of humor, her energy, and her affection just fill and complete our family.

She is growing at a ridiculous rate.  Babbling up a storm, her favorite words are mama, dada, Anna, m-nana (banana), and bye-bye.  Little Sprout is walking!!!!! now.  She is the earliest walker of all my kids.  It's exciting, because all the other kids cheer her on and get all-out giddy when she takes a shaky step.  Of course, amidst all the excitement, I would love to hang on to my baby just a bit longer.  Lucky for me, she is a fantastic snuggler and a great playmate.  Sometimes, after the other kids go to bed, I'll go into her room and wake her up for one more snuggle and playtime with just me.  Yeah, I'm sentimental that way. :)

Love you so much, you sweet sweet baby cheeks.  Happy ten months!

Peace

A few months ago, I finally allowed my life to slow down enough to actually experience it.  I focused on living in the moment and enjoying each one of my children.

 

I was surprised that with the calm of a new schedule came disturbing thoughts and feelings.  Annoyed, I pushed them away and fell back into my usual routine.  It was comfortable and familiar and fit me like that cozy hoodie I've had for ages.  I embraced being overly busy, because then I wouldn't have to face the words that kept whispering in my head.

 

The Holy Spirit was persistent though.  He was not going to let go that easily.  He continued to nudge me and prod me.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, He was doing the same to my husband. 

 

We had become too comfortable in our lives.  We had fallen into a rut of going through the motions.  Service and ministry were done as just another chore on the long list of things today. 

 

God was making us UNCOMFORTABLE.  I didn't like it.  The safe, familiar places of my life, like our church and my husband's job, were becoming decidedly awkward and ill-fitting. 

 

We could have pushed down the discomfort again.  I wanted to, so desperately.  I wanted to cling to what I knew.  But what I knew didn't feel right anymore.

 

We made some big decisions to change our lives.  Together, we determined to embrace the discomfort that was sure to come.

 

I have never been so at peace and yet so uneasy.  There is grief at letting go of the familiar.  There is sadness in saying goodbye to the well-known.  There is nervousness at what the future holds. 

 

Last night, I sat in my car after an intense workout at the gym, crying and trying to process all the things that we have been working through.  I flipped through my playlist on my phone and found an old favorite album by FFH. 

 

The song "Lord, Move, or Move Me" came on.  Like the Lord intended, it was a balm to my spirit and an encouragement to my soul. 

 

"I can't find the words to pray,

I'm a little down today.

Can you help me?

Can you hold me?

I feel like a million miles away

And I don't know what to say.

Can you hear me anyway?

What I need is for you to reach out your hand

You have taught me,

No matter what, you'd understand.

 

Lord, move in a way, that I've never seen before,

'Cause there's a mountain in the way, and a lock on the door.

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore,

So Lord move, or move me.

 

I've looked everywhere to find

A simple peace of mind,

I can't find nothing on my own.

So I got to leave myself behind

Take up this cross of mine

Give away everything I hold onto.

 

Out of this place of complacency

To a place of fellowship with thee

"Cause I am weak, but LORD, you are so strong,

And you know it's been way too long."

 

I have no idea what's ahead.  I know it won't be comfortable.  I know it won't be easy.

 

But I have peace. 

(linking up today with Passionate and Creative Homemaking's Beautiful Thursdays)

 

Theme Thursdays - Apples

A few weeks ago, I wrote up my first Theme Thursday, documenting what we do on our theme days in homeschooling.  Here's the next one in the series.

 

Here on Temporary Insanity, I will be posting Theme Thursdays each week to share what activities we did and what resources we used on our special day. All of the instructions and links will be right here so please feel free to use them. I am including lots of extra ideas as well - no need to do them all, of course! Keep in mind that my activities are tailored to two kindergarteners and one second-grader; you can adjust them to fit your family.

This week, the theme is apples.  You can find previous themes here. 

BOOKS:

1.  The Life and Times of the Apple by Charles Micucci.  This read is full of interesting facts about apples and how they grow.  The hand-drawn illustrations are fascinating!

2.  Ten Red Apples by Pat Hutchins.  Fun counting book!

3.  How Did That Get in My Lunchbox? The Story of Food by Chris Butterworth.  We just read the part about how apples are made into apple juice and put in juice boxes. 

4.  Apples, Apples, Apples by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace.  This is the book that gave us the idea for our craft project. 

     Here are some other apple reading suggestions:

5.   How Do Apples Grow? by Betsy Maestro

6.  The Seasons of Arnold's Apple Tree by Gail Gibbons

7.  Apple Fractions by Jerry Pallotta and Rob Bolster

8.  Ten Apples Up on Top by Theo LeSieg     

 I drew up some pages for the kids to make their own apple book.  They colored the cover, and we worked on the pages together.  We reviewed the sound a makes and made a list of words with a in them.  We labeled the parts of an apple on another page and did some apple math problems on the next.  We talked about how the apple tree changes throughout the seasons and colored a page to go along with that discussion.  Just click on the pictures below, save them to your computer, and then print them out for your apple book activity. 

 ART PROJECT: 
     The kids really enjoyed making star stamps with apple cores.  As you can see in the photos above, we cut an apple in half horizontally, cut out the center, removed the seeds, painted the apple stamp with white paint, and then carefully stamped in on colored cardstock.  When the prints dried, the kids folded their paper and made cards for their grandparents.  (handwriting practice!)
Some other apple-themed arts/crafts:
1.  Fingerprint Apple Tree
2.  Paper Plate Apple
3.  Apple Shrunken Heads

 KITCHEN ACTIVITY:
     We decided to make baked apples for our snack.  Simply take your apples (we used Pink Lady apples) and core them almost down to the bottom.  Make a mixture of brown sugar and cinnamon and let the kids fill up their apple with it.  Cut some small pieces of butter to top off the apples.  Put a few inches of water in a pan and place the apples in the water.  Bake for fifteen minutes at 350 degrees. 
Some other apple-themed kitchen activities:
1.  Applesauce
2.  Apple Pie Party Dip
3.  Caramel Apples

HISTORY:
    A natural history study for an apple theme is Johnny Appleseed.  There are lots of printables and other activities on the internet that you can use to learn more about Johnny Appleseed as well as many books available.  The Drama Queen happened to have a story about Johnny Appleseed in her reader that she read aloud to all of us, and then we reenacted his story in the living room. :)

Have fun;  our next theme will be Spiders!