I have seen these little gem passing around different blogs and finally found its source at MckMama's blog. It's a great form of therapy to admit (or not admit?!) to some great feats of parenting and general life. You may not believe it, but. . .
Yesterday I did not almost cry myself when my daughter ran off the church stage screaming and crying straight into her grandma's arms. Nope, not me! I did not wish that she had stayed up there and said her verse and sang her song because I knew she would be awesome at it. Oh no, not me. I certainly did not put my camera down in disgust and wish that she had wanted me instead of grandma.
The other day I definitely did not get frustrated with my sweet Michael's crying. In fact, I most certainly did not dip his pacifier in cake frosting to keep him quiet for a while. Not me! That wouldn't be good parenting!
While my man was telling me a deep and fascinating story about the transmission of an Audi, I definitely did not tune him out and get blog posting done. Oh no, not me! I am sure that would not be the behavior of a sweet and attentive wife.
And I assuredly did not wonder why my son was disobeying me while I still had my boxing gloves on from working out. Not me! I would never use any sort of intimidation with my children to make them obey. I did not say "Are you sure you want to keep disobeying Mamma?" while waving my gloves around nonchalantly. Oh no, not me! That kind of behavior could land me on the Doctor Phil show.
On Saturday, I did not make several references to Starbucks and the fact that my coffee maker at home was broken while we were running errands. I certainly did not act surprised when my man offered to stop by Starbucks for a much-needed caffeinated treat. Oh no, not me!
Not me! Doesn't this make me sound like an exceptional wife and mother? A woman committed to her family that would certainly not be typing this after she positioned her children in front of their favorite TV show? Well, you know it - not me!