Thursday, April 07, 2011

Stuck in the Trenches

Potty training. A formidable duo of words. Words that make me want to run screaming and crying to the hills, never to look back. Words that make me want to fork over a large sum of money to anyone who will come in and do the job for me.

Unfortunately, I am stuck in the trenches of this battle. Nay, friends, let's call it what it really is - a WAR! It would have been just a battle had it not lasted (and still continues on) so interminably.

Apparently I was tricked with my first kid. Granted, it was still no easy task, but before the Drama Queen turned three, she was fully potty trained, including night time. Thus I was fooled into thinking that perhaps potty training wasn't so bad. I may have even gone so far as to say that to another mom who was struggling with the whole issue. I was confident in my techniques until. . .

The Beast showed up. He and I have been battling this thing out now for quite some time. I think the first grenade was thrown when I tried to start him at the same age his sister did. It was quickly apparent that he was not "ready." Years later (and yes, I said years people) we are still struggling. The exhaustion is setting in for this mommy. I am tired of changing yet another pull-up or figuring out which stain remover will work best on the latest poop-encrusted underwear. I am weary of making sticker charts, promising sweet rewards, doing several different versions of "potty dances", and pleading with the little man to just use the potty already. I look at my foe - a four-year-old, 44 pound boy - and think, "How is it possible that we have not succeeded yet?"

The Spud has entered the fray as of late. With cheerful Mikeyisms such as "I go potty too" and "gimmecandyipoop", he also wants to attempt a confrontation with the great porcelain throne. You would think he would take one look at his despairing, worn-out mother and BACK OFF, but no, he persists and tries to wedge himself onto the toilet while I am trying yet another tactic with the Beast. He sits on the toilet seat for a nanosecond and then jumps off, pumping his fist into the air and shouting, "I pee in the potty! Now I get a treat!" Then I have to be the bad guy, announcing to both boys that neither will get a treat, since one really didn't pee in the potty and the other one blissfully peed in his pants.

Not to mention, the Beast has another weapon up his sleeve - his recently-diagnosed autism. His lack of focus and poor attention span have certainly magnified the problem. I have several sites offering helpful (and otherwise) information that I continually peruse in seeking advantages in this war of potty training.

Anyone else stuck in these trenches with me? Please, tell me so I can feel like I'm not the only one fighting this. Or, if you made it out alive and succeeded in your venture, share that too. Only don't brag too much - we trench folk wouldn't appreciate that. And for any of you that have advice or awesome tips to help me along the way, I would greatly appreciate it. Especially if your tip was entitled "Potty training your stubborn autistic child in less than a day" or "How to hypnotize your child into using the potty, eating all his dinner, and cleaning up his toys."


  1. I like your blog!...Daniel

  2. I, like you, felt pretty secure in my potty training prowess as I had all of the oldest four trained before the next baby came along.
    I think #5 is out to ruin every perfect practice I have ever used. As a result I am going to keep my mouth shut until she is trained.
    (I think The Spud should totally get a treat though becasue just loking at his little mug is cracking me up!!)

  3. I am in that same poo-smelling trench with you, friend. I hear ya, loud and clear.

  4. My battle was with my middle child. He was as difficult and stubborn as any child can be. But somehow we managed. My daughter was fairly easy. Done in about a month. My youngest has been day-trained since before the age of 3 and was also pretty easy, however, he still wears a diaper to bed and still wakes up wet every morning at age 5. Ugh. I am so ready to be done with diapers. So in that small respect, I feel your pain.

    My only advice is to hang in there and consume lots and lots of chocolate to calm your nerves. :)

  5. Oh we are about to enter this arena..... :-S


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