Oh No He Didn't! - Not My Child! Monday

It's about that time again - time for some much-needed Not Me! confessionals! Only today I am telling on my kiddies! That's right - it's "Not My Child!" Monday today. And since all of you already know what angels my children are, it will be easy to believe the following:

1. After my mother-in-law came over to help me clean the house two days in a row, my lovely daughter did not then ask me if Grandma was coming to clean our house every day. And if she had, she certainly would not have added that I should pay Grandma for cleaning our "messy place."

2. The Beast did not spend 20 minutes on Monday night crying "Momma, please open the door" before I realized that he wanted me to zip open the zipper on his pajamas.

3. All three of the precious little darlings did not sit peacefully on a bench in the post office while I waited forever in line to mail a package. You see, they never sit still for more than a minute, and for them to sit there for twenty minutes without causing nuclear destruction is not possible. Really.

4. The Drama Queen did not have some crazy stomach flu on Friday that made her throw up...and throw up.... and throw up...at Grandma's house. And if she had, I would not have sat poised by the phone, waiting for the grandparents to call me to come get my precious sick daughter and make her all better.

5. The two oldest children did not figure out a way to make tidal waves in the bathtub and then proceed to make the bathroom floor very very wet. Nope - my children are way more dignified when taking a bath.

6. And finally, if you had happened to be at the local mall yesterday and had happened to walk by Abercrombie and Fitch, you would not have seen the most adorable Beast jamming to the overly-loud music in the store. Because of course we were hurrying to get out of the mall, and therefore would not have allowed him to run into the store and start playing his air-guitar. And then his "air-violin." Seriously. Because, come on, what 2-year-old has that much talent?
(Oh, okay, have to brag on my kid just a minute here. He was jamming to a song the other day and said, "Come on, Momma! let's play!" So I started pretending to play drums - and he shouted, "No Momma no! There's no drums in this part! Play the guitar!" And he was right - it was at a point in the song where there was no percussion. Yep, he's brilliant!)

Not my kid(s)! Ha ha - can't wait to see what gems these little rascals come up with this week...