Let's rewind for a few minutes to the year 2005. This was the year I was pregnant with my first child. Yep, I was the one reading all the baby books and exploring all the mommy websites and consulting all my mommy friends for advice. Ultimately, I had compiled a list. It was a long list of things I would never do when I was a mom.
So now it's 2009, and let's just take a look at how well I've adhered to that list, shall we?
1. "I will never give my child a pacifier. She won't need one - I will always be there for her!"
Ummmm, right! It's just that the first time that a pacifier in my daughter's mouth gave ME a full night's sleep, I kind of changed my mind a little on that one. Okay, a lot! Ah, such memories of emergency trips to the store to purchase another pacifier when the original could not be found anywhere, only to realize that she only liked THAT pacifier. Not one exactly like it, just THAT pacifier.
2. "I will never allow my child to spend the whole day in pajamas or wear the same clothes two days in a row!"
Yeah. Sure. That's why the Drama Queen is sitting at the lunch table wearing naught but her pajama bottoms and the Beast is, well, mostly naked.
3. "I will never allow my baby to watch TV. And my child will only be able to watch it occasionally."
Of course. It wasn't me that just took a break from writing this post to dance the Bunnytown Hop with my kids!
But seriously people, do you know what you can accomplish during a 30-minute show? A shower, (ah, bliss!) the dishes, a blog post, so much can be done when the kiddies are glued to the screen and not bugging me.
4. "I will never say such things as 'Because I said so!' and 'Knock it off or I'm coming back there right now!' and 'Find something to do or I'll find something for you!' to my children."
Ha, I fully confess to saying all of the above and more to the kiddies. Can't wait until "Would you jump off a bridge if your friend did?" comes up!
5. "I will not be one of those shouting moms. I will always deal with my children with calmness, kindness, and respect."
Okay, let me preface this by saying that I try very hard not to yell at my kids. One mom friend actually told me the other day that she is always impressed by how calm and quiet I am when I discipline my kids. (ha, if she only knew!) But there are moments. . . like this morning when I took a load of laundry upstairs and returned to find the Beast had drawn in PERMANENT BLACK MARKER on a custom painting I had just finished for a customer. I'm sorry, folks, but there is no calm and quiet way to deal with that. Nope. Zilch. Nada.
Okay, so motherhood is not exactly what I naively thought before I had children. If you're one of those "my kids only eat organic food, are always dressed to the nines, and are loving and obedient always" moms, kudos to you! When you actually have kids, let me know how that works for you. :)
I am actually enjoying these little surprises that life is bringing me. Well, except the black permanent marker on the painting incident. So not happy about that. Did I mention it was black PERMANENT marker?