Anyone else in the baby circus mode of their life???
You know what I mean. The baby needs a little entertainment - so you put her on her activity mat while she happily bangs away at the dangling toys and babbles nonsense to the world around her.
For ten minutes.
Then she fusses like a nagging wife until you move her to another place of entertainment - the exersaucer. Unsteadily propped up with towels, she wobbles from one shiny plastic object to another and beebops to a twangy version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."
For eight minutes.
Then the dancing quickly turns to tantrum tears and an "I-am-so-done-with-this" face. So you lift her up, cuddle her for a few minutes, and then put her in the Bumbo seat in a place where she can watch you do something exciting, like folding laundry or washing dishes. She stares at you with a half-interested look on her face and stays calm.
For about six minutes.
Then the sobbing and the attempts to twist herself right out of the chair begin. You soothe and comfort as best you can until another offspring shouts from the bathroom that he may or may not have plugged up the toilet again. You hurriedly tuck her into her swing, turn it up on high, shove the pacifier in her mouth, and try to tiptoe away to handle the bathroom fiasco. She fusses but falls asleep with her head turned at a strangely unnatural angle.
For about thirty minutes.
And then the three-ring circus starts all over again. Same acts, slightly-more-weary mother every time.
I should sell tickets to this kind of entertainment.