In case you should ever invite our family over for dinner or even some coffee/sippy cup time, I think you ought to be prepared. The following is a checklist for Spud-proofing your home:
1. First, please do not have any objects you hold dear within reach of the Spud. They should be placed at least 2 to 3 feet higher than you think, as he apparently has amazing stretching skills, practically akin to Elastigirl. He will grab any unsuspecting object and hurl it with great force to the ground. If it does not break the first time, rest assured - he will pick it up and throw it again, harder.
2. Lock all storage and kitchen drawers. If you fail to do this, he will open the drawer and rapidly empty it of its contents. Next he will climb into the drawer and repeatedly try to shut it while still inside. Don't worry - I usually bring an extra box of bandaids for this very reason.
3. Remove anything that can be climbed, as the Spud will try to climb everything. To date, he has successfully climbed chairs, bar stools, lamps, couches, coffee tables, end tables, bookcases, ironing boards, baby gates, and toilets. Am I suggesting you remove all of your furniture? Well, perhaps that is a bit much, but moving it all to a locked room would be greatly appreciated.
4. The Spud has a certain affinity for the following objects: scissors, knives, mugs of hot coffee, small ingestible items, forks, and anything electronic. Please triple-check that all of these items are safely out of reach before we come.
And, if you withdraw your dinner invitation, I completely understand. Obviously it is quite impossible to Spud-proof a home.
Which makes every day an absolute adventure. . .