Not Me Monday #7 - Awesome Parenting and Grocery-shopping Skills

Hooray! This somewhat stressed-out momma is in need of some serious therapy, and lucky for me, it's time for Not Me Monday, the best (and cheapest!) therapy a momma of three rugrats age three and under can get. It's even cheaper than Lucy's psychiatric help on Peanuts and probably a lot more helpful. Basically it's just good to know that I am not alone in not doing any of these things. Head on over to MckMama's for all the Not me rules and general fun. And please, don't take yourself too seriously...

On Monday, I did not suddenly remember that we had a music group barbecue and that I was supposed to bring dessert. I did not briefly consider lugging the three mischievous munchkins to the store to get said dessert, only to reject that idea at the thought of how exhausting such a venture would be. I then did not scavenge the very bare cabinets in search of something dessertable. (and no, I did not just make up a new word!) I did not discover a few mismatched packages of Jell-o and decide to make all of them - strawberry, grape, and lime - together. And if I had, I certainly wouldn't have forgotten to add the cold water after the boiling water. And when the whole mixture started to look a little. . . um, interesting. . .I did not then look at the Jell-o boxes and realize that they had expired. In 2006. Nope, not me - this domestic diva is always on top of her pantry organization!

On Tuesday I did not get up at 6:00 am to go grocery shopping without the kids. I did not blissfully stroll the aisles, daringly bringing the shopping cart close to jelly jars and cartons of eggs without fear of my kids destroying them. I did not think that this is how grocery shopping should be done every month. And I certainly did not frame the receipt of $85.25 for the entire month's of groceries as my lowest grocery expenditure yet.

My darling, adorable, and angelic second child - also affectionately referred to as "the Beast" - did none of the following this past week:
1) scribbled with black permanent marker on a finished custom painting
2) painted the dining room floor with lovely streaks of hot pink
3) dumped out a very full potty chair just after I had mopped the floor
4) stabbed his sister in the head with a sharp pair of scissors
Naturally I would have never allowed any of this to happen; although if it had, I would not have ever yelled "I'm not speaking to you right now" at him or made him sit on the couch for an entire hour. Nope, not me!

And finally, i did not get my hubby to make dinner for the family in honor of my half-birthday. I did not request pancakes and eggs and then wonder aloud if a girl could get a cake for her half-birthday. And if I had, a certain wonderful husband would not have promptly driven to Wendys' to purchase a Coffee/Toffee/Twisted Frosty that I had been craving since I had seen the TV commercials. Oh no, that would never happen to me.

Perhaps you can relate a little to my non-activities. Please share the link to your awesome not-me confessions in your comment below so that I can come visit! :)