No Matter What

I love our new schedule - it keeps us busy for sure! However, I wondered how Davey would take to it, since he tends to freak out if any little change in his life occurs.

Most of the time, he seems to be handling it pretty well. We have a picture system that helps tremendously. I draw a series of pictures of what we're going to do that day - take the Drama Queen to school, go to the gym, eat lunch, etc. - and he crosses off the pictures as we do each activity.

And then there are the other days - the days when no amount of pictures, cajoling, lecturing, and yes even bribery will get that kid to cooperate. One day earlier this week, he refused to speak to me in English and instead resorted only to gibberish every time I asked him a question or told him to do something. It was probably one of the most frustrating days I have had with him to date. At one point, I went into the bathroom so I could cry and let it out a little. Why? Why does it have to be like this? Does God think I need an extra measure of patience? Why?

Lately I have been hearing a song on the radio that has expressed this question so perfectly - and reminded me that, no matter what, God knows what He is doing and I just need to trust him.

The song is "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts, and here's the impactful words:

I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I, I keep asking why, I keep asking why,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength,

No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what

You Know You're a . . .

You know you're a mom of a preschooler when. . .

. . . you get into the minivan after stuffing the kids into their respective car seats and finding niches for everyone's backpacks, lunch boxes, jackets, and toys they just can't live without. You start up the van and turn on some "calming" music, hoping for a safe and uneventful drive home. About two minutes into the drive, your youngest (who has a very strong tendency to hurt himself on a regular basis) starts screaming and carrying on as if he were about to die. He screams, "Help, help, emergency!" and although you try to calmly ask what's wrong, you don't get a satisfactory response. You try using your rearview mirror to assess the damage, if any, but of course, you can't see anything. You continue to drive, but the screams grow louder and more forceful, making all sorts of crazy things go through your head. Maybe he is tangled in his seat belt and is slowly choking himself to death! Maybe he is sick and needs to throw up. Maybe there's a giant fire ant in his car seat that is systematically biting his leg. . . Finally, in frustration, you pull over to the side of the road and open the side door. You inspect the little man to see what could possibly be such an emergency. Ah, yes, of course. He wants to drive his little Hot Wheels car up his pant leg as a tunnel, but he can't quite fit the car into the pant leg. After the "an emergency is only if you're bleeding or dying, young man, and that certainly wasn't called for to scream like that!", you then calmly show him the right way to get the Hot Wheels car in his pant leg and get back in the drivers seat to drive home. It is THEN that you know that you are the mom of a preschooler! (or two, or three.. . .)

And Then...

6:00 am - Get up, make some coffee, get dressed, and make sure all backpacks, coats, and shoes are in order.

6:45 am - Rouse the Drama Queen, who is NOT a morning person, dress her in her school uniform, and try to coerce her to eat some breakfast.

7:00 am - Allow the Spud and Beast to come out of their rooms, get them settled with breakfast, and then dress the little fiends.

7:30 am - March the kiddos and all their appropriate gear out the door and proceed to buckle them into their five-point harness car seats.

7:40 am - Pick up a teenager that carpools with us to school and drive to school, occasionally making a stop at McDonalds for a mocha frappe for the teenager.

8:00 am - Drop the teenager and the Drama Queen off at school and then park the van. Unload the remaining gremlins and check them into the school daycare.

8:00 am - Get set up for class and attend teachers' meeting. Teach Spanish to the 7th/8th graders.

9:15 am - Finish up class and go pick up the boys from daycare. Once again do the car seat thing.

9:30 am - Arrive at the gym, unload the boys from the van and drop them off at the gym child care. Go work out! woohoo!

10:30 am - Sweating profusely, pick up the boys and bribe them with a granola bar to get to the van quickly. again with the car seat process...

10:40 am - Arrive home, get the boys in front of a short DVD while I take a quick shower. Spend some time playing with the boys and picking up around the house.

11:40 am - Load the boys back into the van and drive back to school to pick up the Drama Queen. Head home for lunch.

12:15 pm - Make lunch for the kids and eat. (quickly!)

12:45 pm - Load all offspring into the van again and drive The Beast to his special preschool.

1:00 pm - Go back home and do laundry, dishes, lesson plans, whatever needs to be done.

2:00 pm - Grab the kiddos and head out to pick up one of the Drama Queen's friends that stays at our house after her school is out.

2:30 pm - Take the kids to a playground or library, depending on the weather.

3:30 pm - Pick up The Beast from his preschool and head home. Get the boys settled for "rest time" (naptime is a rarity anymore) and the girls doing a quiet activity. Take a deep breath, finish housework, and start making dinner.

5:00 pm - After the Drama Queen's friend gets picked up, get dinner on the table and feed the family. After which, the evening activities of dishes, kitchen clean-up, baths for the kiddos, bedtime stories, picking out of outfits for the next day, vacuuming, etc. will commence. Any remaining time is to be used for catching up on emails and doing some projects for The Framed Frog.

You didn't really read all of that, did you? Well, if you did, stop and take a deep breath. That's what I have to do when I realize how busy my schedule is! I love it - the constant motion, the going here and there - but it is definitely the reason I have been lax in my blogging the last few weeks. I haven't yet figured out a good spot to fit in blogging.

But, don't worry - I enjoy blogging too much to stop! I'll figure out a way to keep it going. Plus, there are so many bloggable moments these days, and I don't want to miss out on any of them. :)

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

9:30 am -

School Daze

Last night, I uttered words that have never been spoken in this house before - "She needs to get to bed. It's a 'school night.' "

Yes, things have certainly changed around here. It all started on Tuesday morning, when I got up early to get everybody and everything ready for the first day of school.

The Drama Queen was already up, excited and ready to go in her uniform and with her special backpack, packed to the brim with tissues, Clorox wipes, construction paper, and other such preschool necessities. I had my bag packed as well, with my lesson plan book, red pens, paper, and some special treats for my Spanish students. When the boys woke up rather groggily, the Beast pulled out his new Spiderman backpack to be filled with extra clothes and pull-ups for daycare and later his ESD preschool. We managed to remember everything and get out the door in plenty of time to get to school.
The Nerd planned to go into work a little late that morning so he could see our baby girl go to school that first day. After dropping the boys off at daycare (not a happy occasion for the Beast unfortunately), we took the Drama Queen up to her classroom where she willingly posed by her desk in her Dr. Seuss-themed room. That sweet smile and air of self-confidence tugged at my heart a little, but I didn't cry. The Nerd insisted on taking several pictures of the momentous event, including photos of her in front of the fish tank, in front of Mrs. Kaiti's desk, in the process of unloading her backpack, etc. You would think he was the blogger in the family! I gave her a quick hug and told her she was going to be awesome in preschool; then I hurried downstairs to teacher's meeting. After a long but informative assembly, I got to meet the the 7th and 8th grade students that would be in my Spanish class this year. (lots of boys with deep voices that squeak every once in a while and a few girls that are taller than the boys :) ) It felt great to get back into the teaching groove again!

After Spanish class, I picked up the boys from daycare and headed home. I got a few things done around the house and then it was back to school to pick up a very bubbly and talkative Drama Queen from school. She chatted about what she had learned and who had gotten their name on the board (apparently not a good thing) and who was sitting next to her all the way home. We all hurriedly ate lunch and then got back into the van to take Davey to his ESD preschool for the afternoon.
This time, as I pulled into the parking lot of the ESD/Headstart building and signed in to take him to his class, I started to cry. It was very overwhelming to take my barely-three-year-old to a class with a teacher I hardly knew. He looked at me uncertainly from the door, but as soon as Mr. Scott promised he could wash his hands with the bubbly soap, he cheerfully waved and went inside. I didn't want to leave and stood around for a little while, as if there were something else I should do before I go. Mr. Scott gently reminded me that he would see us again at 3:30 pm. I reluctantly took the other kiddies home for the rest of the afternoon.

Promptly at 3:30 I was back at his school, waiting to hear all about his first day. Mr. Scott said he did very well for his first day and only had a little trouble staying focused during circle time. Davey of course said nothing - he never talks about his day. From his preschool, I drove straight to the doctor's office, where the Drama Queen and the Spud had their check-ups and respective shots. Then it was home to finish making dinner and finally take a break from the van!

So, yes, I would say that our daily lives have changed rather dramatically. I am trying to figure out where my Etsy shop projects and blogging will fit in, but I am loving it! This is the part of motherhood I have been waiting for - the busyness, the school projects, and the daily schedule :)

What Makes You a Good Mom? Part One

I am wife to the Nerd, who needs me to make his dinners, do his laundry, and make him happy. I am mom to the Drama Queen, who needs me to teach her, talk with her, and listen to all her chatter. I am mom to the Beast, who needs me to hug him several times a day, talk slowly and directly to him, and anticipate his needs that he has trouble expressing. I am mom to the Spud, who needs me to pay attention to him frequently, feed him, and clean up his messes. I am artist and crafter for my customers, who need me to create custom items in a timely manner. I am Peewee Club teacher to my little group of 3-5 year-olds, who need me to teach them and be patient with them. I will be Spanish teacher to a rowdy group of teenagers, who need me to exert my magic and somehow make them pay attention and pass the class.

The list goes on, and in all my busyness, I am often caught in the trap of second-guessing my parenting skills or the swamp of dragging through "mommy-guilt." You all know the feeling. It usually happens because I've been talking to another parent, who manages to work it into the conversation that they've spent X amount of quality time with their off-spring this week and isn't motherhood just the best thing ever?

Well, the truth is that it's not - not always, anyway. Don't get me wrong - motherhood is a noble calling and IS wonderful in so many ways, but it ain't always pretty. And it isn't always fun! I used to feel guilty about thinking that, but now I know it's just reality. It doesn't make me a bad mom! Look, when my kiddos were spreading poop all over their room last year, I was not rejoicing in the fact that I was a mom. People told me that later I would look back on the incident as a fond memory and laugh. I'm still not laughing, folks! All I remember are the hours of back-breaking carpet cleaning and the smell that lingered forever...

A few weeks ago I was waiting in line at the post office and struck up a conversation with the lady in front of me. She also was a mom of three littles, who were gathered around her, kicking and whining about being bored. She apologized to me for their behavior, telling me that it was HER fault because she hadn't spent enough quality time with them that week. She went on to explain that they had only been to the zoo, the library, and two mom/child events that week; and normally, she did a lot more with them. I suppose in some mommy circles that would have made her super-mom, but in her mind, it was not enough. I went home that day pondering what really constitutes being a good mom.

Society today, especially with the plethora of mommy blogs out there (yep, I know, a little tongue-in-cheek for you there), turns the pressure up on moms to perform at what they deem an acceptable level for being a "good mom." Your daughter is three and you haven't enrolled her in ballet yet? She's already behind and has lost all hope of becoming something great. You don't sit on the floor and spend hours playing trains and cars with your child while trying to engage him in meaningful conversation? Later in life he'll accuse you of being a "distant parent" while lying on a couch across from his therapist. You don't plan educational activities every day for your two-year-old? She is destined for failure, or at the very most, community college. You told your five-year-old not to bother mommy right now but to go and find something to do? Well, apparently you just told your child that you don't care about him or his feelings...

So if these things are really not qualifiers in making someone a "good mom" (in my own humble opinion of course), what does? What are the core values and characteristics that make up a good mom?

I don't like my blog posts to be tremendously long; so this topic is going to addressed in more than one post. I will definitely share what I am learning are the real things that make up a "good mom" in the posts to come, and I welcome your comments, advice, experiences, and so on.