The Future According to the Drama Queen

When the Drama Queen grows up, she is going to paint things and do "house stuff." She will drive a mini van and be tall enough to do anything!

OH, and apparently I will be the one in the car seat in the back. She will tell me what to do and not let me have soda or candy. Yeah, must be a Benjamin Button thing...

And when I asked her if she will be a mommy too, she quickly said yes. She will have 8 children and none of them will be like the Beast. Well, besides the fact that they are going to be all girls...

You can't make this stuff up!

Wordless Wednesday - The Beast Preaches

here in a sequence of photos, you see the animation of the Beast as he describes to me the "bad bad men" that put Daniel in the lion's den.

...future Baptist preacher, anyone? (well, of course, I mean when he's not shirtless.  No Baptist preaches shirtless, do they?)

and more wordless fun at 5 Minutes for Mom...

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haha - posting on a Saturday!

Apparently some blogs even have memes for weekend posting, and while I am not usually a meme poster (exception of Not Me! Monday, of course) or a weekend poster, due to sickness and mostly laziness and a little bit of boredom, I am writing this post "Six Talents I Wish I Had." (and isn't that the most ridiculously long and grammar-error-ridden sentence ever?!)

Anyhow, here they are: the six talents I wish I had, in no particular order.

1) organization. yeah. I am a terrible organizer, which would be a great talent to have when juggling a home business and three small and very mischievous children.

2) surfing. I imagine myself to look wicked cool riding the waves with ease and confidence. However, my sense of balance (or lack thereof) and fear of water quickly bring me back to reality.

3) playing the piano (well). i can plunk out some tunes on the piano, but I wish I could sit down and just play anything I wanted. The most intimidating experience I ever had was going to music camp and realizing that all the other campers were way more talented and experienced than I was.

4) sewing. Again, I've got some basic sewing skills, like sewing on a button or hemming the curtains, but I would love to be able to make complicated dresses for my daughter. I do not, however, have the patience for such an endeavor.

5) dressing. Okay, that's a strange talent to list, but I wish I had the ability to put great outfits together without help from friends (or hubby). You would think an artistic person would be more talented in this area, but. . . Hmmm, maybe I've just given up a little since I've had three kiddies in three years...

6) hosting. Yeah, the party's not going to be at my house. I get too stressed out about entertaining and would much rather bring a dish to someone else's house any way.

So what six talents do you wish you had? Maybe we could trade off - one of you organizational gurus out there can come get my house in order, and I can come "artify" your house...

The Right Dress

Kelly is hosting a 'Show Us Your Life Friday" each week, and today's theme is "Your Wedding Dress."  And so (drum roll please!) here is my wedding dress:

A few weeks after I got engaged, I drove from Massachusetts to Pennsylvania to see my mom and go dress shopping.  It was a bit of a time crunch, since we knew that this was really the only weekend we would have together to do this.  We had to find the right dress!

We found this huge pink place that had thousands of dresses and a special "clearance" floor.  This floor had all kinds of dresses at drastically reduced prices, usually because they were "last-season" or it was the only dress left in that style.  If you found one you like, you had to really pray that your size would be available.

I knew exactly what I was looking for.  I wanted a sleeveless, a-line dress with minimal decoration and no "fu-fu".  The consultant smiled patiently at me and brought out several dresses in this style.  I quickly realized that my "chicken wings" (aka shoulder blades) would not allow for such a dress.  Trust me, it was not a pretty sight!  Then my mom chose a dress with little sleeves, a beaded bodice, a HUGE skirt, and impossibly long train.  I had my doubts but tried it on anyway.  They say you just know when you've put on the "right dress," and that's exactly how it was for me.  I felt like a princess.  No, I felt like a bride.  It was the greatest feeling!

Now that dress is tucked away in my closet, a beautiful memory of a very special day.  I look forward to the days when my daughter and I take it out and ooh and aah over it, talking about brides and weddings.  And perhaps someday, the Drama Queen herself will wear that dress on her special day.  But only if she feels it is the "right dress" when she tries it on.  Because I would never want her to miss out on that feeling...

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Wordless Wednesday - freeze frame!

for more wordless fun, head on over to 5 Minutes for Mom...

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Oh No He Didn't! - Not My Child! Monday

It's about that time again - time for some much-needed Not Me! confessionals! Only today I am telling on my kiddies! That's right - it's "Not My Child!" Monday today. And since all of you already know what angels my children are, it will be easy to believe the following:

1. After my mother-in-law came over to help me clean the house two days in a row, my lovely daughter did not then ask me if Grandma was coming to clean our house every day. And if she had, she certainly would not have added that I should pay Grandma for cleaning our "messy place."

2. The Beast did not spend 20 minutes on Monday night crying "Momma, please open the door" before I realized that he wanted me to zip open the zipper on his pajamas.

3. All three of the precious little darlings did not sit peacefully on a bench in the post office while I waited forever in line to mail a package. You see, they never sit still for more than a minute, and for them to sit there for twenty minutes without causing nuclear destruction is not possible. Really.

4. The Drama Queen did not have some crazy stomach flu on Friday that made her throw up...and throw up.... and throw up...at Grandma's house. And if she had, I would not have sat poised by the phone, waiting for the grandparents to call me to come get my precious sick daughter and make her all better.

5. The two oldest children did not figure out a way to make tidal waves in the bathtub and then proceed to make the bathroom floor very very wet. Nope - my children are way more dignified when taking a bath.

6. And finally, if you had happened to be at the local mall yesterday and had happened to walk by Abercrombie and Fitch, you would not have seen the most adorable Beast jamming to the overly-loud music in the store. Because of course we were hurrying to get out of the mall, and therefore would not have allowed him to run into the store and start playing his air-guitar. And then his "air-violin." Seriously. Because, come on, what 2-year-old has that much talent?
(Oh, okay, have to brag on my kid just a minute here. He was jamming to a song the other day and said, "Come on, Momma! let's play!" So I started pretending to play drums - and he shouted, "No Momma no! There's no drums in this part! Play the guitar!" And he was right - it was at a point in the song where there was no percussion. Yep, he's brilliant!)

Not my kid(s)! Ha ha - can't wait to see what gems these little rascals come up with this week...

Put that Down and Come Here! I Mean It, Mister!

It's Friday again, and I just realized we are already half-way through July! Time is just flying, and I am running to even attempt to keep up with it.

I like to take some time on Friday mornings to focus on the past week, rejoicing in what was accomplished and what was successful. I also (ahem) think about the parts that could use improvement and try to work a plan to make that happen. Oh yeah, and I pray a lot too! :)

Last night I came down from giving the little angels their bath and reading them their bedtime story to find hubby cleaning the living room. He innocently asked me how the baths went, and I burst into tears. For those of you who may not know me that well, I do tend to burst into tears rather often. What can I say? I cry a lot!

Anyway, this particular time I was extremely frustrated with a certain little boy. well, that and the way I was handling that certain little boy. The Beast certainly has a talent for bringing out the worst in me! All day long he had been getting into things he shouldn't, and every time I spoke to him, it seemed as if I were talking to a brick wall. (all mommies of toddler boys are nodding in agreement). The problem was that word "spoke." You see, that rarely happened. "Talked loudly" might have been more appropriate. "Yelled" is the most accurate. And I was so frustrated with myself for yelling at my 2-year-old all day long!

"Why don't I have the patience that I have with my other two kids?" I wondered. "Why can't I remember that even though he is very smart for his age, he is ONLY 2 years old?? Why do I immediately resort to yelling with this guy?" I hated the look on his face when I yelled, and knew that it didn't "work" either. I felt like a bad mom, and all the frustrations built up in me until I cried and cried.

My hubby listened patiently as I vented, reassuring me that I am not a bad mom. I have never ever heard him yell at the kids, but he had no magic advice to help me with this problem.

So how do I stop this? How do I make something other than yelling my first reaction to my 2-year-old?

Please advise and encourage - this poor mommy needs it today!

Birthday Cake Round-Up #2 - Handy Manny Cake

At the beginning of this year, LifeasMom hosted a Birthday Cake Round-Up in which I submitted my If You Give a Mouse a Cookie cake. She is hosting another one today here for the summer, and you do not want to miss all the pictures of the yummy cakes readers have made themselves. It is always inspiring to see other's ideas and know that you are able to do them too.

So this time I am showing off my Handy Manny cake (again) :) Here's a little breakdown on how I made this cake:
1. Baked a cake mix in a loaf pan.
2. Cut the baked cake in half horizontally and laid the pieces side by side.
3. Made red frosting and frosted over the two pieces of cake.
4. Cut a toolbox "handle" out of cardboard and inserted into cake.
5. Frosted the "handle" with more red frosting.
6. Made sugar cookie dough and rolled it out.
7. Printed out the Handy Manny tools off PlayhouseDisney.com and cut out their basic shapes from the cookie dough.
8. Baked the cookies and let cool.
9. Made several colors of frosting and decorated the cookies, finishing with a black outline on each.
10. Inserted cookies in "toolbox" and used skewers to prop up taller cookies.
11. Piped the birthday message.

This was so much fun, since not only does my son adore Handy Manny, but my daughter does as well. They were thrilled to choose their own favorite tool cookie to eat, as did the other children present; while the adults enjoyed slices of the cake.

And now I'm off to check out everyone's else's cakes. I need a good idea for a certain little guy who is turning one next month! (sigh. . . the time goes by too fast!)

Wordless Wednesday - splish splash

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Not Me Monday #9 - Sister Sister

So did you stop at the McDonald's drive-thru a few too many times this past week? Maybe yell at someone else's kid?  Have another proud (or not so proud) parenting moment that you'd like to confess to (but really don't want to!)?  

Ah, my friend, then come join me and the hoards of others seeking therapeutic relief by writing Not Me! posts, linking up here at MckMama's blog, and reading the results....

It was not me that dared to go to three different grocery stores, the post office, and Starbucks all in the same day with my three little rascals and sister in tow.  Nope, I would never drag my sister through all those errands while she was in town visiting us.  And I certainly did not expect her to pitch in with the diaper-changing and potty-visits...

It wasn't me smiling every time I heard the Beast call my sister "Momma" instead of "Aunt Missy."  I wouldn't be that tickled that my sister and I are so much alike that even my own kid gets us mixed up. :)

On Wednesday night after church, I did not look at the extremely tall inflatable slide that our church had rented for VBS and think that you would never catch me sliding down that thing!  And when the Beast begged and pleaded to go on said slide, I did not quickly convince hubby to go with him instead.  And on his fourth trip on this slide, the Beast did not ask his Momma to go on the slide with him and use his incredibly charming good looks and sweet voice.  I then did not try to finagle my way out of a potentially scary situation by asserting that coming down that slide would be immodest in my denim skirt.  Of course I did not give in to the Beast.  And if I had, I would not have taken twice as long as any of the other kids to climb the ladder and then scream like a little girl all the way down.  I certainly would not have been out of breath for several seconds after such a descent, as I am in excellent physical shape.  

On Thursday, we did not stay in our pajamas all day until we realized that we were experiencing an extreme emergency - we had run out of soda in the house.  Both my sister and I of course did not begin to suffer from lack-of-caffeine-induced headaches, and I did not quickly get dressed just to run to the local Fred Meyer and buy some soda.  If I had, we would not have spent the rest of the afternoon drinking our beloved sodas and making lasagna (my sister) and yellow cake with fudgy frosting (me).  Because if I ever admit to that, I might have to share...

On Friday, we did indeed make a trip to the Oregon Zoo.  We learned a lot about animals at this zoo, but I of course did not learn the following useful (or not!) facts at this zoo:

1)  No person, under any circumstances, should ever wear white shorts without any underwear underneath.  It's criminal really.

2)  No girl, no matter how "hot" or attractive she may be, should ever cut her jeans off so much that a good inch or so of white pocket liner sticks out the bottom of her new "shorts."  Classy it is not.

3)  Do not leave your soda anywhere that the Beast may potentially grab it.  Ever.  This is imperative, for he will grasp at any opportunity to get a sip (or gulp!) of Coke.

4)  Yelling your child's name in a busy hot outdoor area is pointless.  Shouting "tow-head boy in blue shirt and brown shorts" is much more likely to get you the support of folks around you in stopping your wayward child.

5)  A 30-pound child weighs about 60 pounds when he is tired.  Seriously.  I don't care if it's not scientific - them's just the facts, folks.

6)  Those primates with the colorful behinds and big red noses?  Those are called mandrills, as my 3 1/2 year old daughter informed me while "reading" the information plaque at the zoo.  Seriously?  Where does she learn this stuff?

7)  When other people's children are climbing the zoo fences and your child attempts to do the same, calmly and loudly ask your child to "please don't climb the fences just because OTHER children are doing it" and then wait for the other people to discipline their children.  That way you are not actually yelling at someone else's child. :)

Happy Not Me Monday, everyone!

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My Bagel-ful Taste-monial

I am one of one hundred bloggers that get to do a Taste-monial on the new Kraft Bagel-fuls for  5 Minutes for Mom.  Here it is  - in crazy, sometimes-double-spaced paragraphs because my computer is refusing to cooperate with me:

When I give the Drama Queen, the Beast, and the Spud a choice to have a special breakfast, they almost always choose donuts. Of course. You know, the kind topped with ridiculously unnatural frosting and a pile of sprinkles. Naturally. So when the kiddies eat their “special” breakfast, you can imagine the mess. The Drama Queen is the neatest but usually still manages to spread a lot of crumbs in her wake. The boys look like they have just come out of a pillow fight with the Teletubbies and lost!

So when it came time to try the Bagel-fuls, I informed my offspring that we were going to have a “special” breakfast that day. They immediately clamored for donuts, and being the wonderful, responsible mom that I am, I said that we were having donuts. “Special” donuts with the frosting inside. This immediately piqued their curiosity, and they hurriedly bit into their Bagel-fuls to find the “frosting”. The Spud finished his first and asked for more (his latest baby sign language word) and the other two also seemed to enjoy theirs as well. When I asked them if they liked them, the Beast nodded and the Drama Queen asked me to please be quiet so she could finish watching her morning cartoon.

 Yes, folks, another proud parenting moment!  Afterwards, I stood there and stared at the breakfast table. Something was not right here - where were the crumbs scattered all over the floor? The frosting smears cemented on the table’s edge? I stood in shock as I mindlessly munched my own Bagel-ful, realizing that this new product saved me a big mess with the kiddies. “This would be a great breakfast to go; at least I wouldn’t have to clean out the minivan every time,” I thought. And then I realized that the Bagel-ful I was eating was good. Really good. So good I wanted another.  But there are only four to a box. So it’s back to cleaning up piles of crumbs and gobs of blue frosting, because I am NOT sharing my Bagel-fuls!

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Wordless Wednesday - Independence Girls

...lovin' having my sister here and the Drama Queen sure is having fun with her aunt!

more wordless fun at 5 Minutes for Mom!


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Not Me Monday #8 - 6 on the 4th

And now it's time for Not Me! Monday, the part of the show when Jeanette comes clean (or not!) of all the things that have not been happening this week.  Get the whole story at MckMama's blog here and write some of your own Not Me! confessions.  I guarantee it has cleansing powers.  Well, at least entertaining powers....

It was not me who heard my son shout "Look Momma apples!" in the supermarket and then turn around just in time to catch him taking a big bite of one.  Ha, not me!  I always have complete control of my kiddies and never let them wander free.  And if he had, I would not have been appalled to discover that he had chosen the most expensive apples in the store to "taste-test".  After purchasing the expensive apple, I did not tell him he had to eat it before he could have a popsicle, and when I later found said apple abandoned on a table at home, I did not hurriedly eat it so as to not waste that money.  Nope!  Not me!

It was not me who had the misfortune of discovering her son was once again painting with poop in his bedroom.  If I had, I certainly would have dealt with that son calmly and rationally, and would not have expected it to happen again the next day.  Because of course it didn't.  No, not to me!

It was not me trying to frantically make the house look presentable before my younger sister arrived for a visit on Thursday.  I did not suddenly remember that she is as messy as me on Thursday and subsequently take the family out for dinner instead of finishing any last-minute cleaning.  Nope, not me!  And when my sister arrived in the airport, we did not drag the whole family in just so we could greet her at the gate, only to find that you can only greet international flights at the baggage claim.  And I did not squeal like an excited pig when I saw my only sister for the first time in a long time.  Not me!

As evidenced from the photo above, we did not actually follow through with our "let's make sure we get a family picture with all of us in it" promise that we say each holiday.  And if we had, I would not have dressed the whole family in matching shirts. :) Hee Hee, not me!

When we took the family to the local spray park for the Fourth, my big strong tough Beast did not spend most of his time gingerly dipping his toes in the water, while my Drama Queen certainly did not run fearlessly through all the fountains and climb to the tops of all the rocks without her parents' help.  Nope.  That would have been so out of character for them!

And the Spud did not fall immediately in love with his aunt and spend most of his holiday hanging out with her.

I did not allow fireworks such as the one above to be set off in my driveway.  If I had, the kids and I would not have been sitting just a few feet away.  Too dangerous!

And when hubby suggested that our 3-year-old and 2-year-old get to play with their own sparklers, I did not give in.  If I had, I would not have been standing there the whole time alternately holding my breath in fear and shouting at the Beast to get his sparkler away from his shirt before he set himself on fire.  Ha - not me!

Well, there you have it!  Another week of not me confessions....

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